Blood is Thicker than Darkness
by miss-rowena-ravenclaw
Summary: James Potter and his wife have been living with the death of their son for years. What happens when they realize he isn't dead at all? That he has been forced into fighting for dark. Can James see through the lies? will they be a happy family again? AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any shape or form. **

**This is my new story and it really is soo much better than my first. I got the idea for this fic from another I have read called 'light up the sky' by 'troublemaker-in-chief' read it. It is amazing. Things you might want to know about this story. It is very AU. It has no slash. It has some coarse language (in later chapters) but I while raise the rating when that happens. I really hope you like it. Reviews really help me discover the way the story will go. I also have to apologize in advance for any grammatical, spelling errors. I also will attempt to update fast. Now, go ahead and read. **

Harry heard Rowena yelling at her parents, but this time it sounded far more serious than ever before.

Just 5 minutes ago, she had sashayed down the stairs in the best of high spirits, clutching something to her chest. Harry heard her excited voice from in the kitchen. "Mother, Father, I was accepted!" Harry saw her hold out her bundle, a black mask, and twist her face in a smirk of triumph and haughty disdain.

Harry had felt a shudder run through him. Rowena was a Death Eater. After that, the conversation started to go downhill.

Emilia and Dean Wealthlock were evil people no doubt, but they weren't powerful. They were sneaky and sly and they always admired the Death Eaters, but they were intimidated and terrified by them too. Their daughter was one now, and even though they kept such a pretense of loving the Death Eaters, they cried at the fate of their daughter.

"Why are you not proud of me!" Rowena shrieked, snatching up her wand. "I thought you would be proud! This! This is my destiny, my service to the Dark Lord!" Rowena waved her mask madly above her head. Harry heard Emilia pleading with her daughter. "Please… Rowena! They are killers! They kill and torture… They can hurt you! They will come after our family... Your life of comfort is gone! For all of us!" The Wealthlock's were all about comfort and living an easy simple life.

Rowena snarled at her mother, sending her cringing on the tiles of the kitchen. She barred her teeth at her parents. "I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAY!" Rowena heard crashes sounding like broken china and crashes of falling furniture. This had never happened before.

"ROWENA! Please… stop…we are so sorry!" Harry heard Rowena laugh evilly, and Harry shivered. He had lived with Rowena for all his life and she had never been more frightening than this. He used to put pranks in her room and make her hair turn blue every time she walked past his room and she would chase him around the house. Now she was a killer, a Death Eater.

"They accept me, mother! I'm never coming back to this dump, a brighter future awaits me!" She turned from the kitchen abruptly, and Harry scrambled behind the door to stay hidden. Rowena looked haggard, with sunken, bloodshot eyes glinting madly. Her short pixie hair was red like fire.

Mrs. and Mr. Wealthlock were evil, but they were nowhere as near as evil as their daughter.

Emilia rushed out of the kitchen. She was a chubby woman and her cheeks were flushed and stained with tears.

"ROWENA! Rowena!" She called to her daughter, desperately. Rowena spared a last sadistic glance at her mother before spitting at her face, and disappearing with a crack.

Harry watched Emilia, comforted by her well-rounded, balding husband, cry for most of the evening. Yes, the Wealthlock's were evil, but they were weak and powerless and had no desire to fight for any war or for anything.

While Harry stayed in their house as an unwanted surplus to the Wealthlock family, Rowena had disapparated to the Bellatrix Mansion, for her first Death eater meeting.

James had lost his son while he was 4.

The fact that his body had not been found kept James searching obsessively, and praying, for two years after. Then he came to realize that Lilly needed him and the probability that his beautiful son was dead was to great to ignore. He didn't have the strength to stay away from his wife just after she had lost her son.

The first year after he stopped searching was the hardest.

James knew he had failed his son, and he found his Bogart to be Harry shouting at him, blaming him, for not protecting him like he promised. It didn't really get better, but it didn't get worse either.

James changed and was slowly more able to handle the pain. Like a lizard, growing tougher skin in summer time. He was slowly able to think of Harry without feeling the familiar pangs in his chest. He was slowly able to picture how perfect he would be if he was alive, without breaking down. He saw Lily changing too. Becoming a stronger woman. James loved her more each day for her strength, her power, and how she had helped him pull through. If Lilly had gone on that awful night too… James doubted he would have found much to live for.

Now, Harry would have been 13, It had been 9 years since he had been taken from their lives, ripped away from them, and James still felt the places where his heart had been torn.

Every time he told Lily he loved her he added on in his head, _Harry I love you too. _James missed him like Hell.

Harry, His beautiful baby boy. He would give anything to see his face again.

He had to be strong for Lily. She had slowly gotten better. They could laugh, prank and host parties like normal people, but when they crawled in to bed, a dark shadow followed.

Harry… James could be fine one minute and then suddenly his mind would remind him. Remind him that the son he loved so much was gone, remind him that he had failed him, remind him that Harry would never grow up.

The smallest most inconsequential things would set it off.

The sight of the Auror offices stuck with photo's of daughters… and sons would send him back to when his world shattered, became darker and utterly incomplete.

It would be back to the days he would cry drunkenly, the broken glass of beer bottles around the legs of the chair he was slumped in.

Sirius and Remus' hands warm on his shoulder.

James would smile when he thought of his best friends, they had helped him so much.

When he couldn't be strong anymore, when he wanted to shriek and swear and run… His friends were there for him.

The next morning, Harry woke up in his makeshift bedroom in the attic to find Emilia and Dean yelling at him to get his lazy rear to the kitchen.

It wasn't surprising, Emilia and Dean had always resented him, treated him awfully. Rowena leaving wouldn't change that deep-set routine.

Harry dragged himself downstairs. Harry half expected to see Rowena at the table, but she wasn't there.

Harry looked at the seat she usually occupied.

He hated Death Eaters and how they treated people. He hated Voldermort and everything he stood for, however he wasn't stupid enough to show it. If he did, he would be kicked out of the house, or worse, killed.

As much as he hated living with Emilia and Dean, it was better than the streets or dead. Harry knew that they weren't his parents and for almost all his life he had longed for his real parents to take him away, to a better, brighter place.

As he grew he realized that it was an almost certain face that his parents were Death Eaters. Harry didn't want anything to do with his parents if they were evil. That was, if, they were alive. There was also a very good chance that his parents were dead. Harry grew and realized all of these things.

He also realized that if his parents weren't dead, they mustn't love him very much to give him away.

So Harry invented a new fantasy, that he could have a friend.

A year ago, he had run away from the Wealthlock's. He had been on the streets cold and hungry, but he had been free, and he had made a friend. Having a friend was the best. Someone to look out for you. Someone to be there, not to tell you what to do, but just to care about you and enjoy spending time with you.

He had met a boy called Nick who was 2 years older than him and Nick was like a protective older brother. Nick had run away from the orphanage he had lived in. Also, Nick was a muggle.

He missed Nick so much and often wondered what happened to him. For a couple of months, Nick had been his best friend, they had worked together to get jobs and bring food and stay hidden. Then, Harry had been found, and taken back to the Wealthlock's and he never saw Nick again.

Harry slumped into the kitchen stool, yawning. Emilia spooned a bowl of porridge and poured him orange juice, all the while giving him a glare of resentment. The small overly-white kitchen seemed empty without Rowena, and Harry momentarily wished she hadn't been accepted, so he wouldn't be the only one living in misery inside the house.

It was raining outside, so that would mean that Harry couldn't wander up and down the dull street, which was, his main way of killing time.

Harry reached for his spoon and accidentally knocked over his glass full of orange juice. It shattered onto the floor.

"HARRY BLACK!" Emilia shouted his name reproachfully and Harry rolled his eyes.

"FIX THAT RIGHT NOW!"

"At your service." Harry mocked a bow.

They would have thought him to be sweet and genuinely sorry, if they hadn't known him at all.

Harry muttered Reparo and cast a cleaning spell on the orange juice. Dean narrowed his eyes at the 13 year old boy.

"I'm sick of your smart retorts, Black. You think you're so clever, boy! I've had enough of your disobedience. When I was your age…"

Harry interrupted.

"Here we go again. 'When I was your age I followed Death Eaters around like a lost puppy.' Yeah, I've heard it before."

Dean looked furious, face turning splotchy red.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"I'll be happy to."

And he made sure to slam the attic door after he went in.

Later that day Harry was lying on his thin mattress and using his wand to direct a ball to bounce rhythmically on the floor.

_Bounce, bounce, bounce. _

His main objective was to annoy Emilia and Dean who would hear it clearly from the room below.

_Bounce, bounce… _

He was mid-bounce when a loud smattering of cracks were heard in the kitchen, downstairs, and he heard Emilia and Dean scream, and the sound of their stunned bodies fall to the floor.

Harry jumped up, snatching up his wand. His immediate thought was that Death Eaters were inside his house. His ball rolled off under the bed. Poised and ready, Harry slinked out onto the landing, his heart hammering wildly.

He peered over the banister into the kitchen and his fears were confirmed.

The kitchen was full of black cloaked Death Eaters.

Harry crouched down, trying to hear what they were saying. He could hear a woman's husky voice.

"Come on Rowena… It's your first task… You don't want to prove the Dark Lord wrong about you."

Harry snuck another glance downstairs and saw Rowena closest to him, pale with an indiscernible emotion on her face.

Was it fear? Or horror? Or shock? She looked shaken, like someone had just delivered her news that her family and died.

"Yes Bella… Of course…" She said numbly.

A man's voice spoke.

"They won't be able to feel anything while they are stunned, you might want to hurry before they wake up. We don't have all day."

Harry was confused. What were they talking about? What were they making Rowena do?

Then he heard Rowena's unsteady voice echo through the house.

"Avada Kedavra!"

And Harry saw a jet of blinding green light shoot from her wand and connect with her father, Dean Wealthlock, in the chest. The words she said sounded familiar.

Then Harry remembered when he had heard something like them, it was the night he met Nick.

_Nick had shown Harry to the small room at the back of the abandoned bookshop where he slept. He gave Harry a blanket and laid it down in the room, making sure it was out of sight from the half boarded front windows. "You can sleep here." It was Harry shivered. It was dark and cold and the walls of the shop had a musty smell about them. He smiled in gratitude at the boy he had just met, but he wasn't sure if Nick saw it. "Hey, Nick can you heat up the blankets?" Harry's wand was in his backpack on the other side of the bookshop and he couldn't be bothered to get it. Nick snorted. "I wish." Harry was confused. What did Nick mean? The heating charm was beyond basic, It was one of the first Harry learnt. "Don't you have a wand?" Harry would hate it if his wand went missing, his wand was his protection. Nick sat up and looked across at Harry. It was just light enough to see his eyes looking at him as though he was insane. "What are you talking about?" Harry looked back at Nick. "Your wand. Did someone take it?" Nick's eyes questioned his sanity now. "A wand? I don't have a wand? If I did I would make myself rich and never have to worry again, Abracadabra! And I would be a billionaire." Harry crinkled his brow. "I've never heard of that spell before. What does that do?" Obviously, money couldn't be conjured because its metal was magically infused. Didn't Nick know that? Then Harry remembered what Emilia and Dean used to say about people that didn't know magic. Was Nick one of these people? Harry always thought that the Wizards to muggle ratio was a hundred people the one, now he was realizing that maybe there were more muggles than Wizards. Harry tried to change the subject. It was ingrained in him never to tell non-magical people about magic. He tried to change the subject, but Nick cut across him. "Abracadabra!" Nick shouted jumping up, making Harry laugh. "Abracadabra!" Harry smiled, Happy that his parents had been proved wrong. Muggles were just as nice as Wizards. They were clueless about magic but they were just as important. _

The spell was slightly different and Harry wondered what it did, he leant over the railing just in time to see Rowena aiming her wand at Emilia Wealthlock.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Harry watched carefully for any changes in her body and saw, to his horror, her chest stop rising.

**Please tell me what you think. Just a tiny review makes so much of a difference to me. Thanks for reading!**

**Xx**

**miss-rowena-ravenclaw**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any shape or form.**

**Thank you so much for all the kind lovely people who added this story to their story alert list/ favourite story list. You are all very kind! Please review, they make me update so much faster and usually longer chapters to! Read and enjoy! **

Harry felt a strong chill of unease sweep through him and his legs started wobbling so much he had to grab the banister.

Harry knew that she was dead, just like her husband beside her and Rowena had killed them.

He felt like he wanted to throw up and a horrible ringing sounded in his ears.

Dead.

The people who had fed him and clothed him and yelled at him to get off the streets as it got dark…

They were dead.

The food they had feed him only this morning churned inside his stomach.

Harry had never considered Dean and Emilia his parents, he didn't even like them most of the time, but Harry never wanted anyone of them hurt. They had put up with his 'clever comments' and never physically hit or hurt him. They were his guardians, and know they were dead.

For a little while, Harry had a day dream that one day, the Wealthlocks would open their eyes and love him. That they would buy him ice cream every once in a while, not yell at him when he spilt orange juice, hug him before he went to sleep and play outside with him.

That never happened.

Now they were dead, and Harry didn't understand why he was so upset, like a knife twisting in his stomach. He wasn't even to blame for their deaths. He didn't kill them.

Rowena had killed them.

He hated her.

He heard the other Death Eaters cheering her and her voice, stunned, thanking them. He tried to keep listening to what she was saying, but she started to walk further away. The woman who had spoken before drawled loudly almost exactly underneath where he was.

"As long as she doesn't get in my way…"

He heard another voice laugh chillingly beside her.

"Yes Bella, I can guess what would happen to her if she kills any of your targets…"

The lady, Bella, replied. "I don't have many targets. I only want to kill Black… Potter would be a nice bonus."

Harry snapped his attention back to the lady called Bella and the other man when they said 'black.'

At first, Harry thought they had discovered him, and then he realized it was another Black… Could it be…?

"Yes… Black, that idiotic auror… He will get what's coming for him in the end."

Harry's mind whirled slowly. It was still sluggish form the horror of just seeing two people die by the hands of their daughter, but he forced himself to concentrate.

Black.

They were talking of a man, and auror, who shared his last name.

Could this person be related to him?

Could this person be… his father?

It made sense.

Looking back, Harry realized that when you want something so much, you will cling onto the smallest fragment of hope, a name passed between Death Eaters perhaps, build up something in your head, believe that your wishes are coming true. Looking back, Harry realized that you would create such a fragile assumption, just to have something to believe in.

His father! He was alive, and he wasn't a Death Eater, both of his previous suspicions contradicted.

But there was still the matter if he loved him. Harry thought furiously. Surely if his dad was an auror and didn't love him he would be in another Auror family? So maybe he was kidnapped? Maybe his dad still loved him…

His dad! His dad! Harry felt a spark of hope ignite in him.

Maybe he had a family! He had to find them.

Except… How?

He was stuck in a house that would now be empty of occupants. He had nowhere to go. He would never find his father while he was on the muggle streets, so far away from the war. Yes… His father was an auror, probably a top auror by the way the Death Eaters were talking about his specifically. He could find his father if he was heavily associated with the war, as his father was too.

If he could get to the front line…

Harry was so deep in thought he didn't even realize the Death Eaters were starting to walk up the stairs, until it was too late.

"Hey you!"

Harry spun around and ducked to avoid a stunner.

"Who are you? Why are you here?"

A voice growled at him, sticking his wand close to his face. Bella, the Death Eater from before, sauntered forward, twirling her hair.

"Oh! He's just a baby!" She cried.

Harry stumbled back, his hands were sweating and his heart was in his throat.

"I live here…" Harry stuttered and the Death Eaters laughed at him.

"Rowena!" Bella laughed, calling in a sing-song voice down the stairs. "There's another member of your family here!"

Harry knew they were ordering Rowena to kill him so he quickly intervened.

"I'm not in her family… I'm here to… I'm here to…"

He looked around desperately, for an escape, and idea, a distraction, a way to get out alive. Then, Harry was struck by the most reckless, dangerous idea ever.

"I'm here to join as a Death Eater. I may be young, but I can be useful, I can distract the aurors… They will never believe me to be in your ranks."

The Death Eaters stiffened and Harry could see them contemplating it.

"How do we know if he is genuine, Bella?" The man who spoke before asked.

Then Harry was over-come by a strange, horrible sensation, someone was forcing themselves into his mind, trying to uncover his secrets. It was Bella, the Death Eater.

Harry felt such a deep disgust at the thought of a Death Eater inside his head, in his mind, that it gave him the strength to push against it.

He pictured his mind in a steel case, unable to break into, protected. He pushed Bella out.

He opened his eyes and he didn't even realize he had them closed. The hallway he had walked a million times swarmed into view.

Bella stumbled backwards a little, then strode forward, taking his face in her spidery hands.

Harry shuddered.

He could clearly see her now, wild black hair, pale skin and glinting wild eyes, sparking with something sinister… Insanity?

"He's strong… Powerful… and useful against the Aurors, they would never expect something like him…" She said

Bella looked at him closely for a few more seconds then grabbed his arm, as if decided.

"ROWENA!" She shouted, and smirked as she ran up the stairs, startled.

"Is boy related to you?" She asked, shaking Harry by the arm.

Harry saw Rowena's gaze fall on him, she still looked shocked, but marginally more composed. She looked at him with eyes that Harry could swear where ten shades darker than a few days ago.

"No… He's an orphan."

Bella let go of his arm which was starting to ache, as her fingernails dug into his skin. She looked at him, leaned so close that her wild hair tickled his cheeks horribly.

"What's your name?" Harry struggled to think of an acceptable name. Obviously, he couldn't say Harry Black, incase they knew he was the son of an auror… Immediately he said the first name he could think of.

"I'm Nick…. Nick White."

It was the best he could do with such short time. Bella nodded, seeming satisfied.

"Yes… I'm sure the Dark Lord will see the benefits of such an investment. You, will come with us."

Harry felt a surge of relief. He had been accepted! He had fooled them. He was closer to finding his father. The first Death Eater fight he went to, he could find him and would fight for the light side like he had dreamed to do for so long.

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, how rude of me! I'm Bellatrix and I love killing children." Bellatrix cackled madly at the look that Harry felt plastered on his face.

Without warning, Harry felt the sensation that he was being squeezed through a tube, Apparition, and he stumbled into a huge extravagant manor.

"Welcome to the family, kid."

James yawned, tapping his hand impatiently against the wood of the dinning table at Grimmald place.

It was another Order meeting, the third this week, and James wondered what on earth else they could report.

Lily also looked tired. She had been working double shifts at St Mungo's as a healer, and it was starting to take it's toll. She loved her job though, She had told him before.

Sirius slipped into the seat beside James and gave him a crooked grin.

"Hey mate! You look awful, get some sleep will you?"

James rolled his eyes at his best friend, "Thanks Padfoot. You never fail to give me a self-confidence boost." Lily punched James playfully in the arm. "As if he needs it!"

James was about to reply indignantly, when Dumbledore swept into the room, in a manner which claimed everyone's immediate attention.

"Today, Severus has some very important news to share with us. I will hand you over to him now."

Snape, with his hair as greasy as ever, stood up in his spot. James looked at him and remembered all the times he was bullied by James and his friends while he was at school. Just at that moment Snape glared at him before he started to talk.

"I have a new idea of where the Death Eater mansion is. The spells I'm binded by keep me from disclosing the place, but I have donw some research and believe it might be a place called RIDDLE Manor." He spoke waspishly to the group around him. "By arranging a group, we can check it out. I have found apparating co-ordinates."

Snape sat down again. James was kneading his forehead.

Wednesday was in two days, organizing a group and mapping out plans…That would leave another couple of sleepless nights. It wouldseem like James wouldn't get a proper night's sleep until Thursday.

Sirius interrupted when Dumbledore was just about to speak again. "Are you sure? Remember last time we all waited spent half the night looking, wands ready, and the place was empty."

Snape gave Sirius a hard glare and you could see him gritting his teeth when he spoke next.

"Yes. Black. I am sure. If it inconveniences you, you do not have to turn up at all, but it could be Pettigrew inside at that time… if you wish to revenge your poor little Godson…"

Snape smirked, trailing off. Sirius stood up, his chair grating back, as he did. James felt the familiar ache of hurt at Harry's mention and blaze of anger at the name of the scum he considered his friend.

"Severus! That was highly inappropriate, I suggest you think before you open your mouth! For goodness sake, Sirius, sit down!" Said Professor McGonagall harshly.

Sirius took his seat after a last measured glare of loathing at Snape.

"Everyone please calm down. We will organize a group to go to Wednesday night."

But James wasn't listening anymore. Snape's mention of Harry had James spiraling down thoughts about his son's death.

Maybe Harry's death was Karma for being such an arrogant idiot in school, for hexing Snape and Slytherins as they walked by, for teasing Snape mercilessly for no good reason. If that was the reason, James Potter was sorrier than he could put into words. He would take back every time he tripped someone while he was under the invisibility cloak, every time he showed off with that snitch in front of the girls and every time he insulted Snape for laughs.

James looked at Snape now, listening lazily, and James thought about his son, his Harry. James must have been torturous to Snape if the pain of losing his son was equal to the pain he caused him. If it was some sort of twisted Karma, James would willingly beg for forgiveness.

Anything for Harry.

Always.

"James? Do you wish to be a part of the group?" McGonagall looked at him, and he could see the gentle concern and pity underneath the stern façade.

"Oh… yeah, OK." James said distractedly, trying to claw himself out of the pit he had dug himself from his thoughts.

It was dark when James finally came home with Lily. They no longer lived in Godric's Hollow, but their house was a nice two storey in a small secluded town.

James raked his hand over his eyes while he walked in the door and checked the clock. It was nearing 12.

He kissed Lily goodnight, and when she put her arms around him, James could smell her strawberry shampoo. "Love you Lils." _I love you Harry. _Lily smiled at him.

"Come to bed, James… You can finish your work tomorrow."

James nodded, and followed his wife up the stairs. She knew just as well as him that he wouldn't get any work done anyway.

James lay in bed staring at the ceiling, knowing that his life would be so much better, more exciting, more interesting, and more fun if Harry was alive.

**Sooo… The plot is being uncovered. I am super excited about this story! Are you? I know you aren't meant to be excited about your own story but, whatever! I'm pumped! haha**

**Please tell me what you think. I REALLY NEED REVIEWS! LIKE I NEED AIR TO BREATHE! Xxx thanks for reading**

**Xx**

**miss-rowena-ravenclaw**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any shape or form.**

**Hey guys. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I also hope you review. I have gotten 4 reviews so far and, not to sound totally awful, but I would really love lots more! So please, please, please…. If you are reading this now, review. It would make my day. I don't care how long the review is or what it says, I'm just desperate for some feedback! I value all my readers' opinions so highly, I would love to have a better idea of what to include! So please review! Sorry for this nagging rant! xxx**

Bellatrix left Harry in a small, dusty guest room empty of furniture. There, he would wait while she attended a Death Eater meeting with the Dark Lord.

Voldermort, he was just downstairs, in the same house as Harry. That fact kept Harry pacing nervously and documenting the window as a possible escape route.

Later that night, Bellatrix walked in.

"The Dark Lord appreciated the workings of our little plan Nick, I will train you and you might be able to go to the next face off with those filthy aurors." She talked in such a sugary sweet voice it gave Harry a chill down his spine.

"Training will start tomorrw." She cooed, transfiguring a bed out of the dust between the curtains. "Get some sleep, your going to need it." She snarled at the end, a drastic and unpredicted change from her earlier sweet tone.

She cackled and slammed the door on the hinges, leaving Harry bewildered at her violent mood swings.

Harry fell back on the bed in the room, staring up at the dusty ceiling. He felt hope bubble inside him. He was going to meet his father!

Harry had been told the story of how he came to the Wealthlock's dozens of times. A man, with shaggy black hair, brought him to their house in the middle of the night. He told the Wealthlock's that the name of the baby in his arms was Harry Black.

The Wealthlock's used to tell him how grateful he should be that they took him in. They had told him that the person who had left him at their house told them he would be killed if the Wealthlock's didn't take him in.

Harry lay in bed picturing his father. Would he have bright green eyes like himself? Unruly black hair and glasses? Or would he look completely different. Harry didn't really care in the end, he just decided that if his dad loved him, regardless of anything, Harry would probably love him back. That was all that mattered in the end.

James woke up the next day in bed with Lily beside him. He rolled over and checked the clock.

And jumped.

It was nearing lunchtime, he was at least 2 hours late for work.

He was about to get out of bed when Lily grabbed his arm. "Take a sick day" How could James resisit that adorable sleepy voice? "Darling I've got Auror work to do."

He looked over at her, snuggled in a tangle of white sheets that were stark in comparison to her fiery hair.

James had a moment when he realized how much he loved her.

He loved her red hair splayed on the pillow, her hands clutching sheets to her chin, her peaceful eyes staring up at him sleepily. He was having one of those 'Lily' moments, where he was completely mesmerized. She was beautiful and he was just a scruffy and immature most of the time. She was like a mermaid (Arianne or Ariel or whatever that muggle movie was) and he was like a clown fish.

He almost snorted at his own comparison.

James leaned over and kissed Lily's neck. "Your late for work too, dear." Lily just grumbled. James rolled onto his back and stretched out, feeling his back crack. Maybe today they didn't need to go to work.

James crept out of bed, planning a deluxe breakfast in bed for his red hair beauty. Then, a spell hit him squarely in his back. It made him freeze, turn around and face and angry Lily.

"Your creeping off to work!" She said accusingly.

"I was not! I was getting you breakfast!"

Lilly narrowed her eyes like she didn't really believe the story, but finally smiled and released the curse, changing her mind.

"Actually, Lils, I don't think I will make you breakfast in bed now."

James crawled back into bed.

Lily instantly put on puppy dog eyes and crawled over to him. "Please darling?" James rolled his eyes, determined to stay strong. "Nope." Lily gave him her best helpless, downtrodden look. "Oh… I see…"

Now, How could he possibly resist that?

"Fine!" He burst out and Lily grinned and kissed him quickly. James turned his head towards her and cupped her face.

He could kiss her all day. Her gentle, smooth skin...

She pulled away "Well go on, I'm getting hungry now" And she pushed him in the direction of the kitchen

Harry was up at 5 o'clock, before the sun, with someone who might just be his least favourite person in the world.

Bellatrix lestrange was pure evil, Harry decided. Not just insane, evil too, a lethal combination.

Harry started to panic. Why had he gotten himself in this situation? It suddenly felt like more than he could handle. Harry felt sure that the moment he tried to switch sides, he would die, painfully. This was more than he bargained for. This seemed too risky, too much. Harry felt the need to excape this situation rise up inside him like a tidal wave he couldn't repress it. He had to constantly remind himself of the reason he was here to keep from rushing to the nearest door. He would find his dad, and he would find a family.

A family, it had been Harry's secret wish for as long as he could remember. He would find one now.

Harry repeated all these things to himself as he wiped his sweaty forehead again and grit his teeth.

Training with Bellatrix was more like mild torture. She seemed satisfied with his knowledge of common spells, curses and counter-curses, (he had learned all these while he was home-schooled by Emilia and Dean) so the day was devoted to learning dark magic. Harry hated every spell he cast successfully at the dummy at the other side of the room, but Bellatrix would cast them repeatedly on him if he didn't. When he got a spell wrong, he was either shouted at, and used nasty curses upon, or taunted at his failure.

Harry attempted the current curse he was learning one more time.

"Incinerato."

The dummy seemed to be unaffected, but after a few minutes, it crumbled and toppled over, and caught on fire. Harry watched in horror, picturing a real person in the position of the dummy.

He knew he could never forget that spell, and right now he never wanted anything more than the wish he had never learnt it.

The curse burned someone from the inside out, burning the organs but not enough to kill completely, then consumes the whole body in fire. A slow, torturous death.

Harry had to repress a shudder in front of Bellatrix.

She snarled at him with a twisted smile. "Did baby Nick learn a new trick?" She sang, laughing maniacally.

Harry, getting aggravated, retorted as he so commonly did at the Wealthlock's.

"Bella, your singing is affecting my nervous system, so I can't appreciate your ability to rhyme."

Bellatrix's eyes widened and Nick could have sworn smoke came from her flared nostrils. She was a wild, angry bull, minus the horns. Harry decided to point that out. "Bella! You look exactly like a…" Harry was cut off but the door behind Harry swinging open with a bang.

"M-M-Master, wanted t-to see you Bellatrix."

The person at the door was a short, hunched over man with a face almost like a ferret, or a rat. He spoke clumsily and Harry saw a sheen of sweat on his forehead, both his hands (one of which looked like pure silver) were shaking. Bellatrix gave one last murderous look at Harry before she swept from the room.

Harry was left alone in the dungeon-like room they had been training in all day, not knowing where to go. The short rat guy and Bellatrix had both left, so Harry assumed he was supposed to go to his room. But Harry didn't remember the way. There was no way he was going to ask one of the scary hooded Death Eaters that crossed the halls on occasion. This left Harry with one conclusion.

Harry was going exploring.

Harry wandered for ages, mainly walking up stairs to get away from the stench of the dungeons. He walked down the plush carpets in the hallways and put his ear to a couple of the many closed doors. He finally found his bedroom, but walked past it, sitting in his room was too boring.

He paced the corridors around his room, memorizing the twist and turns of the hallways and the rooms branching off them.

He found perfectly normal uses for some of the rooms, a library, a sitting room and a study. Other rooms made him take a few steps back after he walked through the door. A jungle, (behind a door exactly uniform to all the others) A huge swimming pool and spa, A room completely devoted to a huge fireplace, and there was one room with a large stone basin inside.

When Harry peered over the stone basin, he saw a swirling mess inside, not exactly liquid not exactly gas. Harry instantly guessed it was a torture mechanism the Death Eaters used and quickly shuffled from the room.

Harry was staring at a huge plaque in a trophy room, when he heard a scream of pain faintly reach his ear. Harry suddenly whipped his wand from his pocket, and threw open the door to reach the hall.

He had drawn a mental map of the left side of the top floor (Where his room was) and currently he was not too far away.

He could sneak back to his room and no one would even know he left. But Harry couldn't quite forget that scream. It had really jolted him. He couldn't quite make himself believe that someone wasn't being tortured. He couldn't quite make himself just hide under his bed while that happened.

Harry walked further to the left, uncharted territory, and found a suspicious set of extravagant double doors.

All the rooms Harry had explored had the same doors except this one.

This had to be an important room.

Harry was about to twist the handle, when he heard a voice.

"Pettigrew, you disgust me, you say you are faithful but you can't do me the smallest favor."

The voice was coming from behind the door and Harry put his ear up to the wood. The voice, Harry had no doubt, was Voldermort, and the verbal punishment he was giving this 'Pettigrew' guy was making Harry feel nervous, no wonder Harry could hear half muffled sobs through the door.

"I am so sorry, my Lord"

Harry recognized the voice as the rat-like man who had summoned Bellatrix to the meeting.

Pettigrew stuttered and Harry winced at how pathetic his voice sounded.

"I am willing to h-h-help you w-whenever you w-wish." There was snorting and mocking laughter at the man called Pettigrew, but Voldermort was silent. "I wish you to capture the prophecy for me, rat! And you will!" Pettigrew whimpered. "Tomorrow at sunset the task will be completed. Do you understand? Do you have any problems with this arrangement?"

Harry briefly heard Pettigrew mutter something he couldn't hear properly, and then there was the sound of wood against stone. Chair legs grating back on the floor, people standing up.

Harry realized with a jolt that the meeting was over, everyone inside were leaving and Harry was just outside the door.

Harry scrambled away and shut himself in the closest room just as a black cloud of Death Eaters walked out the door.

Harry, heart beating wildly, lay flat on his stomach and could just see through the crack at the bottom of the door.

When Harry was sure all the pairs of feet had passed, Harry slumped and sighed in relief. Harry sat against the door, finally taking in the room he had hid in. It was just another library with dusty carpet and olive walls. Harry was about to cast the room off as ordinary, when an object in the corner of the room caught his eye.

It was another stone basin like he had seen before, but more extravagant.

Overcome by curiosity, Harry walked towards it hesitantly, still picturing it as a torture device. Carved in the side of the basin was the word _Pensive. _The longer Harry looked at the pensive the more certain he was that its use was not for torture. The liquid looked harmless, almost peaceful, and the structure looked unthreatening and old. Harry looked over into the pool of whirling blue. And suddenly a shelf appeared on the wall in front of him. It had vials of more wispy white mixture and labels and books, seeming to belong to a complicated system.

Harry picked up one of the books in his hands and looked at the cover. Harry read the title.

"Augustus Rookwood"

Harry put the book down and read the others.

"Igor Karkaroff, Antonin Dolohov"

Harry nearly dropped the next book in the shock at the name of it.

"Bellatrix Lestrange"

Harry realized that these books were about people, Death Eaters.

Glancing over his shoulder, Harry eagerly flipped through Bellatrix's book. Most of it Harry couldn't understand, numerals and symbols. Other pages were very valuable. The date of registration as a Death eater, when her dark mark was burned into her skin and even how many people she has killed. Harry skipped past that page quickly, not wanting to read the number and feeling sick.

Harry smirked at some of the mundane personal information, age, height, weight and favourite colour.

Harry was pretty sure he was one a few that new Bellatrix's favourite colour was orange.

Then, Harry saw a family tree. He was about to skip past (He was almost sure he wouldn't know any of the people anyway) When a word caught his eye. Black. His last name.

Harry traced the lines and discovered Bellatrix's cousins were Sirius and Regulus Black. Was one of those people his father? Harry felt his heart pound in anticipation, he was a step closer to cracking some sort of code.

Harry wondered if either or both of them became Death Eaters. Harry was thinking so hard that he didn't even notice Bellatrix calling his name from the other hallway, annoyed that he wasn't in his room.

Harry needed to get back inside his room. Fast.

When the footsteps receded Harry stuffed Bellatrix's book under his baggy shirt and darted across the hall.

It was lucky he knew his way back.

He stuffed the book under the mattress of his bed just in time for Bellatrix to come back up the stairs calling his name. She sounded furious.

"HARRY!" Harry lounged back on his bed and called back lazily.

"In here Bella." At Harry's indifference Bellatrix stormed into his room, wand emitting wild red sparks, nostrils flared.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU WORTHLESS PEICE OF FILTH?"

"Here and there." Harry sounded perfectly nonchalant, knowing it would anger her more.

"WHILE YOU HAVE BEEN MESSING AROUND I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU! I COULD BE DOING MUCH BETTER THINGS!" She raised her wand and a bright blue spell sped towards him, looking lethal. Harry hopped off his bed just in time, dodging with ease. "LIKE TORTURING YOU!" She said maniacally.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Or working on your aim." He replied as another speeding spell missed him by a foot.

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes dangerously and Harry quickly regretted that last remark.

He was in for it now.

To Harry's surprise, Bella just turned around and slammed the door on it's hinges, and his bed turned back to dust with a pop. Harry cursed, it seemed like Bellatrix was forcing Harry to sleep on the floor as her revenge.

Harry dragged his tangle of grey sheets over to him and fished out the book. It was too dark in the room to read (his wand didn't work on the upper floor, only Death Eaters could use magic)

Harry lay on the floor staring at the black ceiling with Bellatrix's book on his chest.

He thought about Sirius and Regulus Black. Were they Death Eaters? Was one of them the Auror Bellatrix wanted to kill? Was one of them his relative? Or his dad? Harry planned to go back to that Library tomorrow. He could check the rest of the books to see if either Regulus or Sirius were Death Eaters. Maybe they had information on Aurors too. Harry also wanted to read about Pettigrew, something about him seemed strange, he wanted to read about him more. For some reason, he couldn't stop thinking about him.

After many hours, Harry finally fell asleep.

He dreamt of Sirius being a werewolf, Pettigrew morphing into a rat and a stag watching him with eyes filled with disgust.

But when Harry woke, he couldn't remember a thing.

**Soo… for the people who are super confused…**

**This might clear things up…**

**The aurors are planning on attacking Riddle Manor on Wednesday**

**Voldermort is asking Pettigrew to capture the prophecy Wednesday, so when the aurors attack, he will be in the department of mysteries taking the copy of the prophecy for Voldermort.**

**Voldermort needs the prophecy to find and kill Harry.**

**Harry still believes that his father's last name is Black, although he doesn't know where or who he is. **

**Harry doesn't know that the aurors will attack**

**Harry ran away and met Nick about 2 years from the start of this story (while he was 11, and Nick was 15)**

**Does that help? The next chappie will be on Wednesday, the day the aurors (James, Sirius, Remus and others) attack the Manor and when Pettigrew captures the prophecy… Sooo, when James invades the manor, will he find Harry? What will his reaction be? I'm writing it now! Sooo super excited! OK… your job now is to review! I promise to update within 24 hours (I know crazy, right?) If I receive reviews! **

**Please tell me what you think. Xxx thanks for reading**

**Xx**

**miss-rowena-ravenclaw**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I DISCLAIM!**

**Ha ha the plot thickens! Well, I will stop blabbing horrible clichés and let you read the story!**

Lily was worried.

She had been taking way to many days off (yesterdays sick day only adding to the grand total) and the head Healing department asked her if she wanted to take shorter shifts. Lily believed next time they wouldn't ask her, but tell her instead.

She was determined to make up for hours, even though she complained about how early she had to wake up, she loved her job. James had the feeling that she would feel hopeless sitting at home while James was searching Riddle Manor. It brought back memories of when James was searching for Harry after he disappeared, leaving Lily helpless.

Lily needed no reminders of that.

It was Wednesday and Lily was out from lunch until after midnight. James was horrified at how long she was subjecting herself to work for (even longer than her normal marathon shift) but she wasn't budging on her decision.

"James, I just can't lose my job. It is a huge part of my life, I need to make up for all the time I've missed." She said as she tied up her hair in a bun.

James helped her button up the back of her white healer uniform top.

"I'm a huge part of your life too!" James mock winged and followed her as she walked down the stairs.

"I know, be careful tonight, I love you." She kissed his patiently, running her fingers through his hair, then grabbing her over-sized bag.

"Love you too Lils! l love you Harry." James called as she was walking out the door. She froze, and turned to him, her face pale and screwed up.

"What did you say?" She whispered in a quiet broken voice that was so different to the normal, strong, fearless Lily. It almost scared James. "You said… Harry…" The bag she was holding slipped into the crook of her arm.

Had James said that aloud? Usually he just thought it, it was a sub-conscious act now, he thought it so many times that the memories didn't lash out at him. Now, he had accidentally said it aloud.

Her shoulders did a uneven shake and she walked, dragging her feet. At first James thought she was walking towards him and he opened his arms, but she walked past him and sunk into one of the kitchen chairs, her bag falling and spilling It's contents over the tiles. She put her head in her hands.

"I haven't thought about him in ages. I can't remember the last time…"

Her shoulders heaved again, more definitely and James felt his heart go out to her. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her.

Lily looked up at him her eyes were already puffy and smeared. "I'm a horrible mother. I used to tell him I loved him every night… it hurt so, too much. I've stopped… I've forgotten for such a long time…"

James knew what she was going through. She felt guilty for adapting to the pain of losing Harry. She felt guilty for starting to move on.

As if she could hear his thoughts, she grabbed his shirt, urgently. "I'm not moving on! I still love him so much… I love him so much… I haven't told him… I haven't reminded…" Her breathing hitched in her thought and James knew grief was the thing slowly choking her, grief was the thing reducing her to tears, like it had done so many times before, to both of them.

"Lils, it's ok. I'm sorry for saying anything, I didn't mean for you to be upset." Lily didn't seem to hear.

"Do you think he can hear us James?" James sat down opposite and grabbed lily's hands in his over the kitchen table. "No. I don't. But I think he will know we love him if we do. I know you love him darling. Harry is such a big part of you. He loves you too, you know."

This, tipped Lily over the edge. She crawled over to James on the table, sobbing freely. She curled up in his lap like a five year old, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Oh, James… Thank you so much. I love you so, so much." She started crying again. Overcome with emotion. With her close James could almost feel the waves of emotion crashing over him from her. James' own eyes stung. "I love you Lily." He murmured into her beautiful hair. This time, Lily said it, her voice a broken whisper, but still loud enough to be heard. Like a flame spluttering and dim but still alive. "I love you Harry." And James echoed, "I love you Harry, my beautiful baby boy."

Voldermort had everything according to plan.

There had been a second prophecy. The first was world known about Harry Potter and how he would be the his equal. Voldermort had scoffed at the idea. A baby? His equal? He thought not. So when he used that sniveling rat to disclose the whereabouts of the boy, he held him prisoner, almost as compensation for the trouble to find him. Proof that he was the greatest sorcerer and no-one could beat him. Especially a venerable, worthless, muggle-loving baby.

That was a mistake. It was arrogant. And he paid dearly. The boy was taken from under his nose by one of his own men. Voldermort should have known that Regulus was not up to standard. When he had accepted him he had a feeling that Regulus was not fit for a life of power. Their was too much emotion in his eyes, concentrated emotion that made him sick. No matter, he paid for his mistakes too.

Regulus took Harry somewhere. It had to be somewhere safe, as Voldermort could not find it. But he would not let anyone know that Harry, a baby, had escaped his clutches. The baby was becoming hard to kill because of his protectors. Everyone thought that poor Harry had died, form the prophecy that was thrust upon a baby with no shoulders to carry it. They should have been right.

Voldermort vowed to find the boy, kill him painfully, but quietly, so that the achievement he had been said to have completed would be finished. A weight off his shoulders.

Voldermort had finally found a way to kill Harry. There was a prophecy. One of the Death Eaters had heard it being recited by a seer while they were being held captive in the dungeons. The Death Eater, (He was new enough for Voldermort not to know his name) told him he had heard a prophecy concerning Harry and him. The prophecy might disclose the whereabouts of Harry Potter, or it could disclose to the world that Haryr Potter was alive. Which was not good. Voldermort needed that prophecy.

A documented copy was in the Department of Mysteries, and only Harry or him could retive it as it was concerning only them. How could he get it? Then he had a brilliant idea. It had come to him spontaneously while a Death Eater meeting was taking place. He had planned a date for Bellatrix to attempt to retrieve the prophecy, even though he was almost certain it wouldn't work. That was then he had his idea.

"_Bellatrix. Tomorrow night, Wednesday night, you are attempting to retrieve the prophecy, understood?" Bellatrix nodded dutifully. Voldermort looked over each of his Death Eaters with snake-like pupils. His eyes rested on Pettigrew's pitiful form. He didn't know why he didn't kill the rat. He watched him bring his silver hand through his scare hair. The silver hand he had given him. Voldermort didn't know why he had when chopping off his hand was so enjoyable in the first place. Pettigrew didn't deserve a gift like that, a hand Voldermort had crafted him, Voldermort's hand. Pettigrew deserved nothing less than a life of misery for the annoyance he brought to Voldermort at times. Voldermort suddenly had a vision. Himself, reaching for the prophecy with a pure silver hand and long silver fingers. Then he snapped his head to Pettigrew's own silver hand, fingers short and stubby, but essentially it was still Voldermort's hand. Voldermort had cast the spell for it to be there, it had come from his wand. It was still his. A second vision struck Lord Voldermort. Pettigrew cupping the prophecy with Voldermort's silver hand. Tricking the prophecy. It might actually work. "Pettigrew! I want you to retrieve the prophecy Wednesday night, visit me Wednesday !" Pettigrew looked up at him, startled and meek. "I thought that Bellatrix would be…" He didn't even get a chance to finish his stumbling sentence as a crucio had already left Voldermort's mouth. He loved the sounds of screams. _

So that was the plan. Voldermort was proud of it. It had potential. If Pettigrew didn't fail. If he did, Voldermort could always kill the rat. That would be enjoyable.

Voldermort was also mulling over another idea. Bellatrix had come to him about a young boy, 2nd or 3rd year if he attended Hogwarts, training to become a Death Eater. Nick someone, perhaps. Instead of killing Harry he could train him to be a Death Eater too, he could coerce him to attempt to kill his own parents…

Voldermort smiled at the idea of such atrocious angst. Harry's parents thinking he was dead for 13 years only to reunite on the battle field and seeing your son's physiological scars running deeper that any past love. Or Voldermort could simply kill Harry in front of his parents. Angst for both parties… But he would first to admit Harry escaped his clutches while he was a baby. There was also the risk of escaping again. A quiet but painful death would be efficient but almost bland…

Voldermort weighed up the pros and cons, mulling over how to destroy the Harry Potter while he was unknowing that his victim was completely defenseless, sleeping quietly just up stairs.

Harry woke up to sun streaming through the window, the floorboards warm under his skin. His stomach ached for food. How many meals had he missed? He only had stale bread scraps at noon yesterday and was sure he had skipped breakfast.

He had slept in.

He had expected Bellatrix to wake him early, like yesterday, for more training, but it felt like almost lunchtime and Harry had not been disturbed. It was quiet in the house. If he just had some food and was able to sleep in a bed, harry would deem this the best morning in quite a long time. Harry, with sleep still weaving through him, bunched the sheets up to his chin and thought of a happier morning.

_There was an old tap outside the back of the bookstore that Nick and Harry would use to drink and wash in the mornings. Sometimes it took ages for the water to clear because it was so old. When it was first turned on the tap would splutter and rust would flutter out. The pipe would jerk. But it never broke, every time Harry thought it wouldn't turn on, a steady stream of fresh water appeared. That sound Harry associated with good mornings. Splutter and flecks of rust. It was cold at the time that Harry and Nick were awake, so when Harry's cupped hands filled with freezing water, he was reluctant to wash his face with it. In those pale, icy mornings, they would stand beside each other in companionable silence, taking turns to be doused in the icy water. Occasionally, they would wake late enough to see the sun rise and it would glint off the rusty tiles of the closed bookstore. Rust. Harry loved rust. Harry was standing by the tap one morning, arms wrapped around himself to keep warm. Nick knelt down to wash his face. Then, Nick looked up at Harry. He still had water droplets clinging to eyebrows and chin. "Harry? I'm so glad I met you." It was so sincere, so nice, that Harry felt himself warm in the cold air. "Yeah you too." It was so true. Harry thought running away was worth it, those first hungry days were worth it, to meet Nick. Nick was fun, protective, smart and downright amazing. Harry watched Nick reach and turn the tap off, and he watched the water dripping to the ground, were a muddy patch was forming underneath. Harry had a devilish idea. Harry reached down, his hand going undetected, then seconds later Nick received a splatter of mud in the side of the head. Nick looked up, eyes wide, mud dripping off his face. He froze, looking at Harry, then he lunged, trying to tackle him to the ground. A full-scale mud war commenced. In the end they had to stop because Harry was laughing so hard that tears slipped down his mud caked cheeks. Harry was so glad he met Nick. He was sure, in that moment, he would always be._

Harry crawled out of his 'bed' and felt his whole body ache from his sleeping position. His stomach rumbled again. He looked at Bellatrix's book which lay beside him, and hid it under the creaky floorboard he had encountered on his first day.

Harry decided to search for some breakfast.

Yesterday during training, Bellatrix had a full tray of lunch delivered to the dungeons by a misty eyed house elf. In her other tiny hand, she held a handful of bread crusts. "Marley is here to deliver Mater's food, Master Bella." She had whispered. Bellatrix had snatched the tray from her. Then she took the bread scraps and threw them roughly at Harry. Marley shifted her weight foot to foot anxiously at the door. "You. Shoo." Bellatrix hissed at the house elf, and Marley whimpered and bowed deeply at Bella, but before she could say anything, Bellatrix blasted her out into the hallway.

Harry deducted that there must be other house elves like Marley and they must have a kitchen to prepare food. Surely if Harry found the kitchen… He could sneak some food, or the house elves could prepare it for him, they seemed willing enough. Harry walked across the room, limping, because of his aching body.

Harry hesitated at the door, afraid to be spotted. Harry decided that the Kitchen was most likely to be on the bottom level, as Marley walked to the dungeons down the hallway instead of down the stairs. He quickly found his way around, thanks to yesterday's exploration, and scaled two flights of stairs undetected. Once Harry felt the smell of the dungeons reach his nostrils he searched the hallways. Finally, he found the kitchen.

The first thing Harry noticed was the elves. As soon as he walked in he saw them rush to the closest station and work on some unseen task furiously. The nearest house elves flinched away from him as he took a few steps into the room. "Is Marley here?" It was the only House elf he knew by name. He heard a squeak and shuffling feet come towards him. It was unmistakably Marley, except a large white bandage had been wrapped around her left ear and gauze pasted over her thin arms. Harry felt a flame of anger at Bellatrix for doing something awful to someone so innocent and defenseless. Harry tried to speak in the most gentlest voice possible.

"Marley, could you please make me some food? If you're not busy?" Marley's eyes were at first scared, briefly suspicious then incredibly eager to please. "No! I mean yes, Sir, Marley in not easy… I mean busy! Sorry Sir."Marley tripped over her own words trying to help Harry. She whizzed out of the kitchen and reappeared in a heartbeat, already assembling the ingredients.

"Marley? Do you mind if I stay here while you get everything ready? I'm not really a big fan of all the Death Eaters." Marley looked at Harry with wide awe-filled eyes. "No, Marley does not mind! Kind Sir!" If Harry didn't no better, he would say Marley was blushing.

Marley worked blindingly fast, regularly giving Harry wondrous looks as if she has never been in such gracious company. Harry definitely wasn't gracious company, with his old, baggy shirt and un-washed hair, but Marley (and all the other House elves) would not cease to tell him how amazing he was.

In under five minutes, a banquet of brunch food, (a platter of fruit, pastries, cakes, sandwiches, and even seafood) was served in front of him. Harry had never seen so much food. As soon as he finished anything, Marley would cook him more, and with every compliment he gave, she would cry out in happiness and gratitude and work twice as fast. Soon, all the other house elves joined in, and he had a full kitchen preparing meals stacked around him like he was a Christmas tree.

Harry couldn't eat another bite. When he said goodbye, Marley flung herself at his legs, begging him not to go. He had to carefully extract himself from all the converging house elves. "I will come back for dinner, promise. Thank you all so much." And Harry made a dash for the door.

Marley was a good elf.

She was punished by Master Bella and Master Lestrange regularly, but she never did anything too bad. Marley always delivered food on time, never forgot to bow, and never missed a spot while cleaning the windows.

She belonged to the Lestrange family but had been in another Mansion with all the other House elves in the kitchen. They were nice, and Marley liked the company. They even helped her with her bandages when she was punished. All the other House elves liked Marley, because she was a good elf.

But then everyone stopped liking Marley after she met an amazing green eyed boy.

The way he spoke to her, it was as though anything was possible. Marley suddenly felt weightless. And, she started to question everything. As soon as the green eyes boy left, Marley had a thought. Why couldn't everyone be like that? Wouldn't it be better if everyone could? These thoughts were dangerous, especially to house elves.

In the short while after the green eyed boy left, Marley started to day dream, something she never did before, about Her masters being nice like him. Slowly it morphed into something even more dangerous. Marley day dreamed about having different masters, like the green eyed boy. Instantly, the other House elves could tell.

For that afternoon, Marley was not the good elf she had always been. She still cooked and cleaned. But she didn't bother to clean the oven until it was sparkling, and she didn't bother to serve food on the best plates.

Marley felt powerful. The green eyed boy had given her power. The way he had talked to her as if she was significant, important. Marley slowly realized that her masters were not the people she wished to obey.

She was a horrible elf.

Marley warred with herself. Her house elf side tried to shut down these feelings, thoughts, dreams, tried to convince herself to focus. Marley couldn't focus. She was changing. Half of Marley hated herself for being a horrible elf and the other half of herself just couldn't wait for the green eyed boy to come for dinner. Like he promised.

Marley waited, and it was sunset, dinner time in the Mansion, and still he hadn't come. Marley was worried. She so desperately waited for him to come and see her.

Maybe his dinner was a different time to hers. She waited, and while she did her thoughts kept going back to what she had overhead Master Bella saying while she had delivered her breakfast that morning.

"I'll kill him. Sooner than later. He is getting on my nerves."

And Marley worried relentlessly, who, Master Bella was referring to but she was almost sure she knew.

This was Marley's punishment for being a horrible elf. Marley walked over to the oven she hadn't scrubbed to perfection that afternoon, and took out an old rag planning to scrub until she was a good elf again. She had learnt her lesson.

That was when terrifying sounds started.

The loud horrible sounds that started in the foyer and got louder and closer. There were shouts and loud crashes and the sounds of war.

Marley could faintly hear familiar Death Eater voices raise above the rest in incantations Marley didn't understand. There were sounds of spells hitting stone and even more horrifically, flesh.

The other House elves whimpered and skittered into hiding spots and Marley herself covered her ears that were still wrapped in bandages, and crawled into the oven she was about to clean.

That was then Marley saw the kitchen door fling open, and she saw the faint glow of spells exploding in the hall, and a short panting boy with wild hair. He was wearing a mask that was starting to slip of his face.

Marley hid her eyes. She didn't want to see any death tonight.

James was lying on his stomach on the hill with his auror team. Above him was the large dark shadow of Riddle Manor. Beside him were his two best friends, Sirius, grumbling about anything and everything, and Remus giving fleeting looks to the almost-full moon. They, along with Moody, Tonks, Alice and Frank Longbottom and Kingsley, scaling the hill with them.

"Why do we have to crawl like this?" Sirius grunted, commando crawling himself up the wet grass just as the sun was sinking behind him. "It doesn't feel very dignified."

James was sure he wasn't the only one who rolled his eyes.

"So we don't risk detection!" Moody said gruffly.

"Why can't we just use a disillusion spell?" Sirius said, but it came out slightly breathless because of this crawling. He was right. It wasn't very dignified at all.

Moody was about to answer again when Remus interrupted, exasperatedly. "Because Dumbledore was able to bend the wards so they only detect use of magic, otherwise, they would have gone off already!"

"Sounds like someone's time of the month…" Sirius said, but only low enough for James to hear.

They crawled a little further, before Sirius started to complain again. "Why can't we just make a break for it? It's not going to make a difference anyway. Right? I hate crawling on wet grass."

James could feel Remus about to explode. Everyone else didn't seem to calm either. Tonks broke the tension. "Does the wet grass make Sirius grumpy?" Tonks mocked from the far left, everyone (bar Moody) sniggered somewhat breathlessly.

Moments after they had reached the top of the hill and the mood of good humor disappeared. The huge mansion stood, majestic and horrific, against the twilight sky. It looked like a place for Death Eaters to meet. They all paused there, all eight of them, thinking about what or who was inside.

"I think Snapey was right. I think this is the house" Sirius said softly, but no one replied, too caught up in their own thoughts.

James was hoping Pettigrew was inside, so when they did attack, James would find him and kill him.

Remus and Sirius were thinking similarly.

Tonks was thinking of Bellatrix Lestrange and everything she had done to make her life miserable through her childhood.

Everyone was so caught up in memories, feelings, thoughts, all the things that made them want to fight for the light no matter what. Things that got them past the fear and into the battle.

Things that made a war.

"I'll check when the coast is clear, and you run to that tree there." Moody said, breaking the silence. He pointed a swollen finger to a large ugly tree about 40 meters away.

"Plug in your ear pieces. Don't stop running. Don't go past the tree."

James adjusted his ear piece, a gadget taken from the muggles, when it was behind his ear, James could hear or contact any of his auror group if he needed on missions.

James felt nerves rush through his body and his next breath came out of his lungs sharply. No matter how many James participated, James always felt nervous when he went out on Auror business.

James looked to his left, and then to his right. His best friends, faces grim and determined. When he looked at him, Remus caught his eye. "I've got your back, prongs." James grinned at his werewolf friend from his position still on the ground. "right back at you, moony."

The words were barely out of his mouth when Moody barked "GO!" and James pushed off the wet ground from his laying position. James pushed himself to his feet and sprinted across the wet grass.

James felt the wind tear through his lungs and the grass under his feet. He kept his head down and pumped his arms, seeing the tree come closer and closer into view. With his breathing loud in his ears, James felt a rush of memories.

Baby Harry gurgling as James held him close to his chest. Lily dressed in white, angel-like, floating down an isle, green eyes locked on his.

Green eyes.

Again and Again, flashes of green eyes, until they were embroidered in the night. Lily staring at him lovingly, Harry, blinking at him innocently. Green, beautiful, Harry. James loved green, and James loved Harry.

James slammed into the tree, melding himself into the bark so that if someone was staring out the window, they wouldn't notice him. The rest of his group were breathing heavily into the night, catching their breath from the wild sprint. Moody's voice came through their ear pieces.

"Alright, again to the house this time… on my signal…"

James prepared himself for the next run, seeing Pettigrew in his mind's eye. that filthy traitor. He would kill him for how he had destroyed the Potter family. James felt familiar rips and tears when he thought of Pettigrew, because thinking of Pettigrew led him to think about Harry, and that was always painful. He would kill Pettigrew for all that pain he had caused, and for taking away Harry's chance at a life, a childhood, a marriage, children, a career, mistakes and happy moments and his own pains. Pettigrew had taken that away.

"GO!"

James heard it in his ear, but almost before the sound registered he was running, twice as fast as before, anger blazing through him like an uncontainable fire. The cool dwindling light ruffled his hair.

"DROP!" James reacted instantly to the command from so much training. He dropped, like a stone, to the grass, lying flat on his stomach. He heard the wind being pushed out of the lungs of the people beside and behind him. James only had eyes for the house, hoping they weren't seen, hoping Pettigrew was inside, hoping…

James heard a particularly loud sound of flesh thumping grass and panting close beside him. James looked over and saw that it wasn't Sirius or Remus, but Alice Longbottom, who had run up beside him.

She was breathing heavily, James looked over at her, lying flat, hands curled into the wet grass in front of her. She looked scared, her gentle eyes screwed up, but also determined, and James felt a surge of pride for her.

He knew Frank would be so worried for his wife, triple as scared at every auror raid… James imagined Lilly lying in the grass instead of Alice and didn't know if he could let her fight. How could he possibly loose her?

Alice caught his eye and James tried to smile, although, he probably screwed it up due to his bleak train of thought. Alice searched for his hand and found it, squeezing it reassuringly.

James heard Moody's voice come over their ear plugs telling them they weren't detected, and to wait for the next signal to run.

James prepared to run again, but just before he did, he squeezed Alice's hand back, suddenly determined and ready.

He would finish running to the mansion and he would enter the fight. He would stun as many Death Eaters as possible. All the aurors had been given a pack of pills to put into stunned Death Eaters mouths. It worked as a portkey, so when you put it in a Death Eaters mouth, that person goes to a certain place. James reached up, feeling the familiar box in his pocket. He would send as many Death Eaters to Dumbledore and then to Azkaban, and he would find Pettigrew and kill him.

James didn't know that his son was just inside the doors. His son was about to be in the middle of a war. James Potter didn't know his son was alive. But he was going to find out.

**Yay another chappie! And it's super long! Do I get extra brownie points or gifts for that? Do you like? I know, I know, I'm stretching this out super long, but next chapter James and Harry will meet (in the kitchens) with everyone's two favourite cousins. **

**Please tell me what you think! Xxx thanks for reading**

**Xx**

**Review! Review!**

**miss-rowena-ravenclaw**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I DISCLAIM!**

**SO SORRY FOR THE HUGE WAIT.**

**I hope this is worth it! xx**

James was lying on his stomach on the hill with his auror team. Above him was the large dark shadow of Riddle Manor. Beside him were his two best friends, Sirius, grumbling about anything and everything, and Remus giving fleeting looks to the almost-full moon. They, along with Moody, Tonks, Alice and Frank Longbottom and Kingsley, scaling the hill with them.

"Why do we have to crawl like this?" Sirius grunted, commando crawling himself up the wet grass just as the sun was sinking behind him. "It doesn't feel very dignified."

James was sure he wasn't the only one who rolled his eyes.

"So we don't risk detection!" Moody said gruffly.

"Why can't we just use a disillusion spell?" Sirius said, but it came out slightly breathless because of this crawling. He was right. It wasn't very dignified at all.

Moody was about to answer again when Remus interrupted, exasperatedly. "Because Dumbledore was able to bend the wards so they only detect use of magic, otherwise, they would have gone off already!"

"Sounds like someone's time of the month…" Sirius said, but only low enough for James to hear.

They crawled a little further, before Sirius started to complain again. "Why can't we just make a break for it? It's not going to make a difference anyway. Right? I hate crawling on wet grass."

James could feel Remus about to explode. Everyone else didn't seem to calm either. Tonks broke the tension. "Does the wet grass make Sirius grumpy?" Tonks mocked from the far left, everyone (bar Moody) sniggered somewhat breathlessly.

Moments after they had reached the top of the hill and the mood of good humor disappeared. The huge mansion stood, majestic and horrific, against the twilight sky. It looked like a place for Death Eaters to meet. They all paused there, all eight of them, thinking about what or who was inside.

"I think Snapey was right. I think this is the house" Sirius said softly, but no one replied, too caught up in their own thoughts.

James was hoping Pettigrew was inside, so when they did attack, James would find him and kill him.

Remus and Sirius were thinking similarly.

Tonks was thinking of Bellatrix Lestrange and everything she had done to make her life miserable through her childhood.

Everyone was so caught up in memories, feelings, thoughts, all the things that made them want to fight for the light no matter what. Things that got them past the fear and into the battle.

Things that made a war.

"I'll check when the coast is clear, and you run to that tree there." Moody said, breaking the silence. He pointed a swollen finger to a large ugly tree about 40 meters away.

"Plug in your ear pieces. Don't stop running. Don't go past the tree."

James adjusted his ear piece, a gadget taken from the muggles, when it was behind his ear, James could hear or contact any of his auror group if he needed on missions.

James felt nerves rush through his body and his next breath came out of his lungs sharply. No matter how many James participated, James always felt nervous when he went out on Auror business.

James looked to his left, and then to his right. His best friends, faces grim and determined. When he looked at him, Remus caught his eye. "I've got your back, prongs." James grinned at his werewolf friend from his position still on the ground. "right back at you, moony."

The words were barely out of his mouth when Moody barked "GO!" and James pushed off the wet ground from his laying position. James pushed himself to his feet and sprinted across the wet grass.

James felt the wind tear through his lungs and the grass under his feet. He kept his head down and pumped his arms, seeing the tree come closer and closer into view. With his breathing loud in his ears, James felt a rush of memories.

Baby Harry gurgling as James held him close to his chest. Lily dressed in white, angel-like, floating down an isle, green eyes locked on his.

Green eyes.

Again and Again, flashes of green eyes, until they were embroidered in the night. Lily staring at him lovingly, Harry, blinking at him innocently. Green, beautiful, Harry. James loved green, and James loved Harry.

James slammed into the tree, melding himself into the bark so that if someone was staring out the window, they wouldn't notice him. The rest of his group were breathing heavily into the night, catching their breath from the wild sprint. Moody's voice came through their ear pieces.

"Alright, again to the house this time… on my signal…"

James prepared himself for the next run, seeing Pettigrew in his mind's eye. that filthy traitor. He would kill him for how he had destroyed the Potter family. James felt familiar rips and tears when he thought of Pettigrew, because thinking of Pettigrew led him to think about Harry, and that was always painful. He would kill Pettigrew for all that pain he had caused, and for taking away Harry's chance at a life, a childhood, a marriage, children, a career, mistakes and happy moments and his own pains. Pettigrew had taken that away.

"GO!"

James heard it in his ear, but almost before the sound registered he was running, twice as fast as before, anger blazing through him like an uncontainable fire. The cool dwindling light ruffled his hair.

"DROP!" James reacted instantly to the command from so much training. He dropped, like a stone, to the grass, lying flat on his stomach. He heard the wind being pushed out of the lungs of the people beside and behind him. James only had eyes for the house, hoping they weren't seen, hoping Pettigrew was inside, hoping…

James heard a particularly loud sound of flesh thumping grass and panting close beside him. James looked over and saw that it wasn't Sirius or Remus, but Alice Longbottom, who had run up beside him.

She was breathing heavily, James looked over at her, lying flat, hands curled into the wet grass in front of her. She looked scared, her gentle eyes screwed up, but also determined, and James felt a surge of pride for her.

He knew Frank would be so worried for his wife, triple as scared at every auror raid… James imagined Lilly lying in the grass instead of Alice and didn't know if he could let her fight. How could he possibly loose her?

Alice caught his eye and James tried to smile, although, he probably screwed it up due to his bleak train of thought. Alice searched for his hand and found it, squeezing it reassuringly.

James heard Moody's voice come over their ear plugs telling them they weren't detected, and to wait for the next signal to run.

James prepared to run again, but just before he did, he squeezed Alice's hand back, suddenly determined and ready.

Bellatrix found Harry just after he came out from the kitchens.

"There you are, I have been looking for you."

She grabbed Harry's arm, dragging him back to the dungeons, and her nails dug into his skin.

"Now, we can do more training!"

"What a joy…" Harry muttered under his breath, unenthusiastically. She must have heard as she dug her nails in harder to his arm, and then tossed him to the wall.

"I'M SICK OF YOUR SMART COMMENTS!"

She stood close enough to him that he could feel her ragged breath on his neck. Breathing down his neck…

Harry shuddered.

"Now… I have tried to be patient, but it takes to much time and effort. Any more smart comments and I may decide that killing you might be more fun that seeing you alive… EVERYDAY!"

She started off calm and shouted the last word, for no apparent reason harry could see. Maybe mental issues.

"Do you understand?" She spat, and Harry decided it was safest just to nod instead of opening his mouth and upset her again.

"Good."

Then she took a few steps back, and Harry had to sigh in relief now that his personal space wasn't being invaded.

"I would like to teach you the cutting curse… It is only a simple cutting movement, you just have to visualize the cut, the depth, the blood, the deliciousness…" Harry now thought Bellatrix was evil, insane, and a vampire. Who calls cuts delicious? But Harry just nodded.

Without warning, Bellatrix sliced the air with her wand and Harry felt a ribbon of pain, blossom on his cheek. It wasn't too deep a cut, only he wiped the initial blood away it stopped bleeding, but it was long, all the way down his cheek. It stung.

"The cutting curse." Bellatrix repeated in a whisper, seeming satisfied, and insane.

Bellatrix looked like she was about to cut Harry again, when she hissed loudly. At first, Harry thought she had hissed at him, but as she crossed the room to stand in front of him, and clutched her arm, Harry realized she had hissed in pain.

Snarling, she pulled her sleeve back roughly, and Harry saw, with horrified fascination, the dark mark on her arm glowing hot and writhing slowly. Harry opened his mouth but no sound came out. He felt sick. The dark mark was stark against her skin. The snake on her arm then opened it's mouth and a siren filled the room.

Bellatrix looked up at Harry. As if remembering he was in the room. "It's a signal that security has been breached. Aurors, they have found us, they are in the mansion." Harry felt a shiver of fear. Aurors were meant to be the good guys, but one look at him, they would suspect him to be evil. Would they let him explain? What would they do with him.

Bella thrust an dark oddly shaped parcel in Harry's arms and fled to the door. "It's time to go to war Nick." And she chuckled manically as she turned to the door.

Harry's mind was buzzing. So quickly and unexpectedly, everything had changed. Even through the siren still sounding loud in his ears, and his heart pounding heavily, Harry could hear the sounds of war in the mansion foyer, just down three sets of hallways from where he was now. Bellatrix had left him and he had no idea of where to go. What could he do? Harry didn't know how to fight in a war.

Harry didn't want to fight. He wanted to find his father, but realistically, what where the chances of him being here? Harry finally had to admit to himself that his family, if alive at all, were very far away. Harry was just kidding himself to think he could really track them down, be a hero and fight for the light. Harry was just a 13 year old kid. He couldn't fight against trained Death Eaters or aurors. He had nowhere to go.

Harry suddenly wished he was back at the Weathlock's. He had always hated living there, but atlest he had been moderately safe. Harry had a sudden flashback to the horrifying realization of their deaths, slumped against the kitchen counter that Harry had scrubbed a hundred times. Harry knew he could never go back there. So where could he go? Bellatrix had left him in the mansion with war growing inside it, like a poisonous gas, slowly filling each room.

Harry could hear shouts and blasts edging further down the main hallway.

The longer he waited hear, the sooner Harry would be found and captured, even killed by any side. He had no one to trust. Harry knew he had to escape, but how?

Then Harry remembered the window in his room.

He had eyed it the first day, finding it a very suitable escape route. Just beneath it was a thick trellis that would serve as a ladder safetly to the back of the mansion. It was perfect, but the window was in his room, on the third floor while he was currently on the bottom.

If Harry was to leave now, he might make it to the stairs without being seen, he could run up to the stairs and crawl out his window. He would be safe.

But still…

Harry knew how risky the plan was. If a Death Eater saw him fleeing they would catch him and deal with him later, If an auror saw him they would duel him. He would have to be invisible. Harry tried casting the disillusion charm, and when he couldn't see his hands, he knew it worked. The no-magic wards must have been broken too.

With his heart in his throat, Harry pressed his ear to the door. They were coming, the aurors, raiding the house, Harry could hear them coming closer. Harry looked down to what Bellatrix had given him before she had left.

It was a Death Eater mask. Harry had to fight the urge to throw it across the room. Instead he shrunk it and thrust it deep in his pocket. He might need it. With its cold weight against his thigh and his heart another cold weight in his stomach, Harry pushed open the door and slipped out.

The noise he had before was amplified considerably. Harry ran down the hall, looking over his shoulder and forgetting that he was invisible. He came to the foot of the stairs and was about to sneak up when he saw a body.

It was a female and it was auror. That was the first two things Harry's mind processed, as the face was uncovered and kind.

Instantly Harry thought back to the motionless bodies of Emilia and Dean, and thought she was dead, but then he came closer and clumsily put his fingers to her neck. His heart was in his throat and he was dying to sprint up the stairs and hide somewhere dark and untraceable.

Harry looked down at the body and also knew he couldn't leave her. If the Death Eaters found her they would kill her for sure… If she wasn't already dead. Harry didn't even know where to place his fingers to hear a pulse, and he couldn't hear above the rage of war coming closer towards him.

Desperately, Harry tried to lift the body, and finally had the limp auror over his shoulder. He knew he couldn't take her up the stairs, they were too long and his arms were already straining under the weight.

Then he saw the double doors at the other side of the hall, and tried to hurry towards it as fast as possible with his burden. Breathing heavily, he finally got the door open and shut it behind it quickly, fearing someone about to charge in after him.

He laid the body as carefully as he could on the floor.

Harry looked up.

He was in the kitchens. It looked as though all the house elves had suddenly picked up and left in a hurry, leaving sinks full of dirty dishes and bowls of mixes and sauces cluttering the benches. The lights were still flashing on all the cooking equipment.

Harry leant down beside the auror, glancing at the door nervously, and looked careful at her face. It was smooth and heart-shaped and her hair was cut short and spiky. It was exactly like Rowena's hair, but vibrant purple. Her eyes, even stunned, seemed to hold a certain spark of enthusiasm and playfulness, that had made Harry so certain he had to help her in the first place. Harry finally saw, with great relief, breath coming out of her mouth and her chest rising.

Despite the consequences, Harry made a decision to revive her. She had just been stunned, so she was probably weak and unable to fight him, plus he couldn't stand the thought of leaving her stunned. Anyone could get her. Harry also needed someone to help him escape, someone to help

"Enervate" At first, Harry thought that the spell didn't work, but then her eyes fluttered open and she looked around frightened. She looked almost exactly at him, but then looked past him, then Harry remembered he had the disillusion spell in place.

He muttered the counter curse. "Are you OK? Are you hurt?" She looked at him, attempting to prop herself up with her elbows, and sliding weakly back down the ground. "James? Can you help me up?" She said, blinking wearily.

Harry was confused. James must be a fellow auror, but why then did this lady think he was James? Did James look like him?

He walked over to her anyway, and grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet. She blinked twice, and opened her mouth as if to say something then drew back violently.

"James…? Your not… Who are you?" She said drawing her wand. Harry started to panic and put his hands up in a feeble gesture of surrender. "I… Please, I'm not a Death Eater, I want to work for the light!" Harry said desperately.

The auror lowered her wand a fraction but her eyes stayed narrowed. "Why do you look like a bad copy of a young James Potter?"

Harry was now very confused. He had never heard of James Potter before… Did they think that he was trying to trick them?

"I don't know who you are talking about! Promise! I don't know James Potter." Harry said desperately, backing away.

"Who are you then?"

Harry sighed inwardly. It sounded like the interrogation was almost over, and that she was believing him after all. "Harry, At your service."

Harry didn't know why he didn't say his last name, and at the time he didn't think about it too much.

Tonks smiled at his bow and completely lowered her wand. "I'm Tonks. Sorry about before, Harry. You look exactly like a younger version of one of my auror friends."

Tonks glanced at the door, the fighting sounded like it had moved to the next floor, and Tonks looked up, hearing the sounds of footfalls on the ceiling above.

"A little kid like you can't be here… Here, swallow this; it will take you to Dumbledore."

Tonks took a pill from a container in her shirt pocket.

Harry was indignant. "I'm 13! I'm not a little kid!"

Instead of reaching out and placing the pill in Harry's outstretched hand, It slipped through her fingers and slid to the floor. Her face suddenly went white and her eyes large. She muttered under her breath, backing away as she did.

"Looks exactly like James… Lily's eyes… Harry… 13… Why didn't I see it before!"

Harry was confused. What was wrong with Tonks? Didn't she understand that Harry didn't know these people? What was she talking about?

Tonks had backed away almost to the wall now and was talking into an earpiece she was tapping. "Remus, Sirius! Don't let James come into the kitchens! No matter what!"

Harry opened his mouth to ask if everything was OK, but before he could get a word out, Tonks had raised her wand at him again.

"Stay where you are!" She demanded angrily. "I know what you are trying to do, and it isn't going to work! Harry Potter was kidnapped when he was a baby, over 10 years ago!"

Harry looked at her blankly. Harry Potter? He wasn't Harry Potter though… He was Harry Black. Wasn't he?

"You can try and look like him and speak like him but you will never fool anyone!" Tonks said angrily, still pointing her wand at his chest.

Harry tried to interrupt, but she wouldn't let him speak. "You are trying to hurt all of us, aren't you? You trying to hurt James! I won't let you!"

Harry opened his mouth, but closed it again. His mind was whirling. This whole time, his whole life, he had been thinking he was Harry Black, and this whole time he was searching for a father with the last name Black, and now he was Harry Potter?

Tonks said he looked like what Harry would look like, he was the right age, and Harry Potter was kidnapped while he was a baby. Could he be this Harry Potter? Of course he couldn't! Tonks was making a mistake! Harry was so confused. He was either Harry Black or Harry Potter?

Sirius was sent a paralyze hex to his masked dueling partner and laughed loudly in victory. He was about to enter another fight when a Tonks voice spoke loudly and directly in his ear.

"Remus, Sirius! Don't let James come into the kitchens! No matter what!"

It sounded urgent and Sirius knew Tonks wouldn't call unless it was.

Sirius instantly caught sight of Remus from the room. He had heard the message too and looked disoriented. He ran towards Sirius, ducking under streams of light. When he was in arms distance, Sirius grabbed him and pulled him to a quiet dark corner.

"You heard Tonks, keep James away." Sirius said.

Remus looked uneasy.

"Sirius, I think I know why Tonks didn't want James in the kitchens."

Sirius hadn't thought about it, only that he was sure it was a valid reason. Now that he thought about it, he was curious. Why couldn't James go in the kitchens?

"I think Pettigrew is down there. Tonks doesn't want to bring him anymore pain."

Sirius took a while to absorb it all. Sirius hated Pettigrew himself and now with Peter so close… Sirius looked at James who was dueling fiercely with a bulky Death Eater. James had his life ruined by Pettigrew, His eyes hollowed out, by that rat. James deserved to know Pettigrew was here. James deserved to kill him.

James would never forgive him if Sirius didn't give him that chance.

"We have to tell him." Sirius said, pulling away from Remus' desperate eyes.

"What if Tonks is right, though? What if all it brings is more pain?" Remus held onto Sirius arm, pleadingly. Remus never wanted pain to come to his best friend.

"He deserves to know." And Sirius knew that Remus knew it was true.

They would go into the kitchens and face Pettigrew together, the three of them. They could handle it together.

Or so they thought.

Pettigrew firmly decided he hated the Department of Mysteries.

It was the first time he had stepped foot into the place, and he knew he would never willingly come back.

He considered himself a simple man. Such secrecy and complex mystery not only confused him, it scared him. Something about the matching smooth black floors and walls triggered nauseated feeling inside of him.

So, to pass the time as he walked through the utter silence and blackness of the Department of Mysteries, Pettigrew began performing something that had become a long term habit.

Pettigrew listed everyone and everything he hated. He hated Sewerages, He hated his animagus, he hated the sorting hat, he hated his parents, he hated his stupid friends, he hated little Harry Potter, he hated slytherins. He hated the Death Eaters that would kick him around and he hated the mop he had to use to clean up bloodstains in the dungeons. Pettigrew hated mosquitoes, muggles, books, brooms, old ladies, and babies.

Pettigrew hated the Department of mysteries.

He had walked into a large circular room like The Dark Lord described, and he walked across the room, he kept his head down obediently even though no one was there to see.

He opened the door directly to the right, hurrying before the doors could move as The Dark Lord instructed.

Pettigrew hated the war, he hated the way he sometimes stuttered and he hated how little any respect anyone had for him.

Pettigrew was a simple man, all he wanted was power, and instead he was sneaking around the Department of Mysteries, trying to find a prophecy that probably didn't exist.

He opened the door into a large, cathedral like room, filled to the brim with shelves through of prophecies. The orbs let of a wispy blue light, filtering through the darkness. Pettigrew, tried to not listen to hard in case he heard them whispering to him in the silence.

Peter was directed to row 97, and when he made it there, he came across two small orbs. One was old and the surface veined in spidery cracks, the other was brand new and shiny.

As he was instructed, Pettigrew reached for the new one with his silver hand, but before he touched it, he paused.

Pettigrew knew he was indispensible to the Dark Lord. Who knew what touching the prophecy could bring? Pettigrew needed to trust the Dark Lord, and he didn't trust anyone.

Peter took a deep breath, and reached forward, taking the small cool glass ball in his silver hand.

Then, the prophecy was recited.

**Please don't kill me! I know you were all excited for a Harry and James family reunion. Sorry! I had to leave you on a cliffhanger from all sides. Is the Pettigrew bit believable? I reckon that little rat has some serious anger stored inside him, hence the 'I hate this world' rampage. **

**ooh, I have something important to say! Pairings- what do you want to see?**

**I don't want to include too many so prioritize! Review and tell me what you want to see! Obviously, James and Lily is a given couple, but I am thinking of doing Harry/Ginny or Harry/OC and I'm not sure whether to include Remus/Tonks and Ron/Hermione (they will be included in the story in future chapters) or even non-cannon pairings. Just please don't ask me to have James/Harry slash and Dumbledore/Ginny. The first is SO not part of a family reunion and the second is just plain creepy.**

**I am already mid-way into the next chappie, and I promise without a doubt this time, that James will meet Harry.**

**I also am writing the second prophecy. I can't rhyme to well, so don't tease me if it is a train wreck when you see it next chapter. I tried my best! :) **

**(wow this is a long note section)**

**This is your chance to yell at me for lack of Harry James reunion, go on, review!**

**Xx**

**Review! Review! **

**miss-rowena-ravenclaw**


	6. Chapter 6

**AAGH! I haven't updated in so long! My internet has been spazzing.**

**I have good news!**

**I have an incredible new beta, neutral-chaos, who has SAVED my life by checking over this chapter in record time. So… If you like this chapter, review and also thank her! **

**Review and chat to me about any of your confusions, (this confusing plot of mine usually elicits some) and what you would like to see in the next few chappies. :)**

**Oh, and thanks for all those new people adding my story to story alert, it makes my heart warm every time I see one!**

While Harry was mulling over who he was, Tonks disarmed him. His wand, which used to be Rowena's, rolled away.

Tonks looked at him searchingly, but before she could speak, Harry interrupted. "When was Harry Potter kidnapped?"

Tonks swished her wand and the boy went stumbling backwards into the hard kitchen counter. "I am asking the questions!"

Harry tried to retain his cool even though he was disarmed and backed up against a kitchen counter at wand point. It could be worse.

"Ok let's take turns." She narrowed her eyes, and Harry first thought she wouldn't agree to his request, but she lowered her wand a fraction. "I'll go first."

"Are you a Death Eater?"

Harry, expecting as much, was prepared to shake his head. "The Death Eaters think that I am, but I am not exactly fit for the job."

"Why is that?" Harry was pleased to note she sounded more curious than suspicious.

"Nope! My turn, you have already asked one. When was Harry Potter kidnapped?"

Harry saw her eyes become sad. "When he was only one." He was suddenly overcome by a memory, one which was remarkably clear.

_"Emilia?" seven year old Harry asked carefully. "Yes, Harry." Emilia said, partly exasperated and partly distracted, charming the spaghetti sauce to stir itself. "Who are my real parents?" The question must have shocked her, as her wand jolted and the thick red sauce spilt down the kitchen bench and onto the linoleum. She avoided looking Harry in the face as she carefully cleaned every bit off. Finally, with nothing else to hold her interest, she turned to the little boy with scuffed knees, and wild hair. "Who told you that you weren't my son?" The boy made a face at her, as if to say 'I'm not stupid', and that was answer enough. It was easy for Harry to deduce that he wasn't Emilia's son simply by the way she treated him. "You were delivered to our house when you were very young by another man." Harry was very curious, and leaned in close to Emilia. "How young was I?" Emilia now seemed to want to close the conversation. "Just a year old, perhaps? Yes, that was what we suspected," she said absently. Harry, intrigued by this new information, tried to sit up on the kitchen bench and continue asking questions, but as he did and swung his legs, he knocked the handle of the saucepan. More red sauce tipped to the floor. "Now look what you've done!" Emilia ushered Harry out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon, all the while yelling at him how he ruined everything._

Harry and Tonks both seemed engaged in memories, but then the Auror snapped out of it and asked her next question.

"Why are you, 'not fit for a job' as a Death Eater?"

"Because I'm not insane, and I'm too good-looking."

Tonks looked surprised at his easy humor and Harry watched her wand hand grow even more relaxed.

"So you say I look exactly like Harry Potter… And he's James Potter's son, right?"

Tonks looked angry. "Yes, your disguise is very good. Speaking of which, I have to ask you to take it off. Now."

Harry had reached a conclusion. He really was Harry Potter, and he had a father, James Potter. He had a father!

"Take off the disguise or I will have to use force." Harry ignored Tonks, stuck in his amazing revelation. He had a father! An Auror for a father, working for the light. He would finally be safe, protected and loved for the first time in his life. He was Harry Potter!

But before Harry could mull over his identity and the amazing fact that he belonged somewhere, three people threw open the kitchen doors. Harry had only time to process that they were all Aurors, and men he had never met, before Tonks gasped, "No!"

Harry locked eyes with James Potter for the first time in almost 12 years.

***

James sprinted down the stairs, his heart beating out of his chest. His friends were behind him, trying to keep up.

Only half a minute before, they had told him what they believed to be in the kitchen. James wasted no time running to the kitchen, thoughts circling around anger and grief at the friend he had lost to the darkness and the son he had lost to death.

James Potter knew Voldemort killed his son, but Pettigrew did too, by betraying them; Peter had killed Harry too. Now, he was in the kitchens, and James was sure he had never changed from the boy James could beat in a duel. He was weak.

James, heart beating wildly, paused in front of the kitchen doors, and Sirius and Remus ran up beside him panting. Sirius put a supporting hand on James shoulder, and pushed the door open with the other.

Instantly, James searched the room for the rat. First he saw Tonks, staring back at them. He was too preoccupied to even see the dawning look of horror on her face. Then, James saw another boy, only 13 or so, staring back as well. In one second, their eyes met, and James felt something break solidly off inside of him, He felt as though the earth was quaking, setting right all the pain and grief that James had suffered for so long. It felt like the world, the universe, everything was set on a tilt, falling into place.

James didn't even realize that his legs were giving out, until he was clinging to Sirius to stay up right. He stared into those wide eyes, green like Lily's. And the strangest, yet most perfect thing came from his mouth in a shocked whisper. "Harry?"

Suddenly Tonks was in front of him, blocking his way to his beautiful son, and he would have asked her to move if his brain wasn't as numb and cloudy as it was. He tried to open his mouth, but no words came out. There were no words for this feeling.

"James. It is not Harry! It isn't your son. It isn't Harry." At first all James took from the words were 'Harry' and 'son' and he felt his breath hitch in his throat, then slowly he pieced the words together and dug his hands even more tightly into Sirius' arm. "Isn't?" His voice was cracked and tiny.

"James! It is a Death Eater. Just a disguise, it isn't him." This was Remus, and even though he was standing next to James his words seemed to come from a long way away.

James felt horror fill his body; everything else, so amazing and euphoric ebbed away and he was left with more anger than he had ever felt before.

For a few seconds he had felt more complete than he had in years. Now, he needed something to fill all the blanks from that emotion. How could this man this boy, want to torture him so much? Why did Voldemort wish to destroy him in this way? James felt like he was dying, trying to stand up straight.

He needed Lily. He needed his house. He needed to get away from this horrible place. James stared into the eyes of his son's look-alike and felt like he would never sleep again.

Sirius flipped his wand and a long jagged cut appeared on Harry's cheek. "You evil piece of…" Sirius started angrily, trembling with suppressed emotion.

Before he could finish another person entered the room, deftly disarming Sirius and James in one swoop and Remus and Tonks in another. Their wands tumbled into the corners of the rooms, under cupboards, ovens and drawers.

It was Bellatrix.

"What have we here?" Bellatrix smirked. "A blood traitor, the daughter of a blood traitor, a werewolf, a cousin, and Nick." She smiled awfully. "And I'll kill every last one."

Bellatrix met Harry's eye and saw that he was staring intently at James, and that James was unsteady on his feet. "What happened here? A little tiff?" She turned to Harry, carefully stroking her wand and smiling cruelly.

"Let's kill you first, huh? I knew I would kill you as soon as you joined, but I didn't know the day would come so quickly."

She laughed and a chill went down Harry's spine. Harry knew that he would die tonight; Bellatrix would surely kill him. Harry looked at James (his dad!), and was glad he got to see him before the end. If only he knew Harry was really his son.

Harry also looked at the two other men in the room, and by the way they were huddled closely around his father, Harry knew they were friends.

Friends.

Harry wished he had one by his side at the end too. He thought of Nick, and Rowena and Dean and Emilia, and he looked over at his father.

Half his mind was desperate to find another way out and live with his father. He lapsed into a daydream of father and son, laughing, talking, fishing, doing anything at all. His father teaching him new spells... Harry felt an ache in his heart. It was all he wanted. He would do almost anything for that.

Harry wished that he could tell his father that he really was his son. Maybe for the shortest moment they could be a family.

Harry looked at James, who was still unsteady on his feet. He had the same messy raven hair as Harry. It was obvious just from James's reaction that he loved Harry, but thought him to be dead. Harry felt a pleasant shiver run through his spine. Someone loved him. His father. It gave him strength.

Strength to face his death.

Harry banished all thoughts of what could have been and squared his shoulders at Bellatrix. "I knew you were insane from when I first met you, but I never knew you would snap so quickly," Harry answered, his voice firm and smirking. Contradicting his fear inside.

Bellatrix snarled at him and raised her wand. "Trying to be tough in front of the Aurors? They are going to die soon anyway."

Harry had no answer to that. He stood strong though, raising his chin in defiance even though he was sure it would cost him a few more seconds of his life.

Bellatrix looked at him for a few more seconds, probably excepting him to crumble, and beg her for mercy.

There was no way in hell he would do that.

"_Avada Kedavra_," she said carelessly.

A beam of light shot towards him. James watched on, feeling a surge of horror and grief and fierce protectiveness of this boy who looked just like his Harry. James had to remind himself that the boy was a Death Eater just to send the moisture from his eyes.

If he was just some Death Eater, why did it hurt so much to see him die?

The eerie green light cleared and James couldn't keep his eyes off the small, spreadeagled victim, eyes rolled back in their head. But it wasn't the Death Eater, It was a house elf. A small house elf with a bandaged head and skinny arms. She must have run in front of the spell.

James looked at the very pale, shaking boy close by him. "Marley…" he muttered, sounding bewildered. As though the situation had not sunk in yet. The boy ran trembling fingers through his hair that was so similar to James's own. The older man could not stop staring.

It was silent in the kitchen, for a few seconds, until Bellatrix roared, voice loud and ripping through octaves. "NICK! What have you done! This was your fault! You... you..." Bellatrix struggled to find an insult cruel enough. At last, she took on a quiet deadly voice. "You killed my house elf."

Harry looked up at her, then down at the shrivelled house elf at his feet, who had taken the killing curse for him. The house elf who had jumped between him and his death. He barely knew Marley. Harry remembered her adoring eyes watching him leave after lunch. "I'll be back for dinner!" he had promised as he left. He remembered Bellatrix kicking him into the hallway.

Could Marley's life really have been that bad? For her to jump in the way of the first killing spell aimed at a random stranger? A small voice in Harry's head spoke up. _Not a stranger. The first person that was ever kind to her_. This sad and startling fact was so true that Harry couldn't speak. He felt pain lodge itself in his chest. He no longer wanted to see any death. He hated that awful spell that had taken first Emilia, then Dean and now Marley. He wanted to get far away from this large dark kitchen with too many shadows.

James watched the boy look down at the poor creature and James could have sworn he saw his eyes glisten with unshed tears. James felt his heart go out to him even though he was meant to hate him. He was filled with such a bizarre mix of pain and sympathy and fear that his head ached and he couldn't concentrate on anything.

But somehow his heart was telling him to not let that Death Eater die, and his head was telling him to leave him. After Harry's death James always tried to think with his head; sometimes listening to your heart was just too painful….

After what seemed like a lifetime, Bellatrix sighed and raised her wand.

"Sad, isn't it? Poor little boy dying without a soul to love him."

Harry looked up, filled with a hollow sense of… numbness. All he could see was Marley's small figure spread on the stones. The only thing he was sure of was that Bellatrix was wrong. Some people did love him. His father. He was right there beside him, and he loved him just as a father should love a son: more than anyone should try to comprehend. Harry had someone to love him right beside him.

He was Harry Potter.

"Besides a dead house elf," Bellatrix taunted.

Harry watched her with steel in his eyes. "Do your worst, _bitch_."

And she did.

"_Avada Kedavra_," was announced for the second time in the kitchens that night. And in the kitchens that night, the second death occurred.

Harry Potter was hit with the light squrely in the chest, he couldn't force himself to record a last coherent though before he was dead. Harry Potter lying dead on the kitchens floor.

The room was filled with lingering green light. Bellatrix and James Potter screamed, and the kitchen of Riddle Manor caught fire.

Why James screamed, he wasn't sure, but what Sirius wanted to know was why Bellatrix screamed. James' scream was short but Bellatrix's was long and drawn out, like she was in pure agony. It was the sound made by a madwoman.

She didn't recover.

Even after all their training, the Aurors couldn't do anything but stare as Bellatrix fell ungracefully to the ground, still shrieking manically. She used her nails to pull the ropey black hair from her face, then there was a loud crack and she was gone.

As if conjured by her screaming, flames cracked like fiery whips though the struts in the ceiling, and the old wood creaked under the pressure.

Suddenly, as if they were marionette puppets, the Aurors jolted forward.

"We have to get out! The roof will come down on top of us soon," Sirius shouted, running with his group to the door. They could already taste the smoke on their tongues. Sirius was right; the kitchen roof would collapse momentarily.

A swarm of weeping house elves rushed from their hiding places, tripping over each other in their haste to get to the door. A large chunk of ceiling fell in ashy flame to the floor, and the flames latched onto the kitchen counter. This was no normal fire.

Sirius was at the door, prising it open, when he realized that James was not with them. Abandoning his struggle to open the door, he ran back frantically. In the heat, nerves clawed up his throat.

"James?" His throat was hoarse and his eyes stinging, but he didn't notice His friend until he had almost run into him. "James! Quick, mate, we've got to go!"

Sirius took his friend's arm shakily, dragging him forward.

"Sirius, stop! We have to take him!" cried the other man.

Sirius turned back confused, his mind already on the rest of the Auror group in the house. Did they know about the fire yet? Had they already escaped? He would have to contact them soon…

"We have to take him, Sirius." James's voice had taken on the stubborn quality that Sirius knew not to mess with. James was looking at the floor at Harry, who was sprawled with his mouth set and eyes glassy.

"We can't leave him." Sirius looked at the boy, and felt a surge of hatred. This was a Death Eater, probably one as old as him, and now he was messing with his best friend's mind. Who pretended to be someone's dead son? It was so messed up, so horrible. Sirius thought that the person deserved to die and burn to death in this horrible house.

But they were running out of time and James was in an almost trance-like state, staring at the boy and hardly noticing the life-threatening danger spreading around them, blocking their escape paths…

"James, it won't make any difference knowing who it is. We just know it isn't Harry. Please, James…" Sirius tried to speak as comfortingly as possible with his heart beating in his throat.

"Just leave him, James."

But James just shook his head numbly.

Sirius thought that he wanted to bring him to find out the person in the disguise. James just couldn't let his beautiful boy's face be disfigured again, even if it was just a mask.

He was about to tell Sirius again, but Sirius had already hoisted Harry onto his shoulders.

"OK, I've got him. Quick!"

Sirius pushed though the encroaching flames, scared he had wasted too much time. When they were at the door, it was open and Remus was waiting anxiously for them.

"COME ON! Everyone else is out already!" He had to shout above the noise.

Out in the hallway, the staircase was in flames. The trio, with Harry over Sirius's shoulder, pushed through the front door, stumbling onto the grass.

**My, my, it is all getting a little intense. Don't worry, the whole fire thing will be explained, and this story isn't about to end abruptly, I have BIG plans.**

**Please review, **

**They help me become motivated to write faster!**

**Xx**

**miss-rowena-ravenclaw**


	7. Chapter 7

**I am awful inside and out! It has been MONTHS! **

**You have probably forgotten all about this story! This is terrible!**

**Please don't give up on it though, I am still dedicated to it, and I promise I will get the next chappie up quickly, no matter how busy I am. **

**Review and chat to me about any of your confusions, (this confusing plot of mine usually elicits some) **

By any standards the mission had been a success. This is what James heard of Moody's words, floating above him. He wasn't really listening.

James sat outside the hospital wing with the rest of the team. Frank had received minor burns as he was stuck upstairs at the time of the fire, he and Alice were inside the hospital wing, along with the dead Death Eater posing as his son.

James was trying not to think about, in fact, James was trying to think of nothing. He laid his head back on the wall, his eyes closed in exhaustion.

Remus and Sirius, as always, sat on either side.

"We got two of them, and the headquarters burnt down. You did a good job tonight, team, we will all meet up for another meeting next week. Dumbledore wants to give you the weekend off." Moody finished his lecture, pacing in front of the aurors. Everyone was sooty and aching and groaned as they hoisted each other to their feet.

James didn't move.

He had watched Sirius give Harry's imposter to Dumbledore, and he watched the old man's face darken considerably. "I will find out his identity straight away."

Now James was waiting. He didn't even know if he wanted to find out who it was, it was a dead man now anyway, and why did it matter? James figured that the real reason he hadn't moved had more to do with his fatigue.

James was so tired.

It was as though lances of pain were securing him to sit there, on the floor outside the hospital wing. He could only think of Harry. He had countless times pictured Harry's face all grown up, and each were just a painful reminder. Now, seeing what Harry could have been right in front of him was like a sucker punch to the stomach.

Remus and Sirius sat beside him. Tonks also faltered before leaving. She stood at the end of the hallway, looking back at the trio.

Then, with silent conviction, walked back to them and sat down next to Remus.

Away from anyone else's eyes, Remus took her hand.

The four of them waited in silence.

James was filled with so much varied emotion he could hardly think.

Sirius was silently anticipating Dumbledore's return, and cursing whoever did this to his friend. Sirius knew this expression and body language of James too well. Hunched shoulders, closed eyes and scrunched up face. James was hurting; he was withdrawing into the shell he had built himself after Harry died.

Remus was anxious. Something, instinct or paranoia he wasn't sure, was telling him that when Dumbledore came back, everything would change, the rug would be pulled from beneath all of them.

Tonks was confused. She kept seeing the boy's face in her mind. Who could act that well? Who could possibly be that convincing? Tonks had almost been convinced. Tonks also felt a warm heat inside her chest at the thought of her hand folded into Remus' but she tried to avert her thoughts to the matter at hand.

Suddenly there was a scream. A woman's scream from inside the hospital wing. Instantly the sound pulled the four aurors to their feet and they rushed inside, each feeling a little sick.

Sirius was the first to survey the scene. They person who had screamed was Madame Pomfrey. And she was stumbling away from Dumbledore who held a vial in his trembling hand.

The group of them hurried over to Dumbledore, but in their haste Tonks ran into the corner of a hospital bed. That bed was the same as all the others in the hospital wing, familiar to the marauders. Crinkly sterile bed sheets and limp pillows. Except this bed was occupied, a form lay under a white sheet.

James stopped and leant against the back of the bed, as if his legs wouldn't support him. He was sure he couldn't deal with this much longer. It was driving him insane. He wanted to be at home with no reminders of his poor dead son. No reminders of how he failed.

Sirius also stopped short, staring down at the fragile lump under the covers.

"Who is it, Albus?"

Sirius asked calmly, hoping for Dumbledore's simple answer that would set their world right again. Sirius waited for the answer that would put an end to his best friend's pain. Sirius was sure that once they figured out whom it was, James would snap out of it, this haunted, scary behavior that scared him so.

It was silent for a moment, Dumbledore's face grew dark, swimming with pain, and for a while everyone listened to each other's breathing, waiting for a reply.

Tonks breathing was wet with tears that slipped down her cheeks from the emotional upheaval of the day. Remus was trying to prize James hands from the bed and Sirius breathing was in ragged sync with James'.

Madame Pomfrey huddled in the corner of her white cathedral, her face pale and eyes wet.

"Dammit Dumbledore! Just tell us who…"

"It's Harry."

It was silent again, and for a few seconds, Dumbledore wondered if he had only thought the words, instead of saying them, usually his words came out sure and exact, instead of flowing so freely with the whims of his thoughts.

But then Sirius exploded his voice full of barely repressed pain.

"I CAN SEE IT IS PRETENDING TO BE HARRY! But who is it really? I want to know which evil Death Eater I slashed across the face!"

James looked away, weary of the pain, the hurt, all balled up inside him, pushing against his mind. He tuned out, trying to push everything away; words dripped off his mind, like rain on a window pane, leaving no indentation, no signal of ever being. James couldn't care who the person underneath Harry's face was. There was only enough room inside him for Harry himself. It was a cruel trick they had played on him. How they had made him to believe… James made a choking noise at the back of him throat.

It didn't matter; Harry would always be just out of James reach.

"Sirius! Please! I saw it myself. In the vial. I watched him run all the tests himself." Madame Pomfrey pleaded to the animagus, who was trembling as if about to explode.

"Would I ever lie to you about something like this?" Dumbledore reasoned, trying again to tell him that Harry hadn't in fact died when he was kidnapped at the age of one. He was alive up to an hour and a half ago.

Sirius opened his mouth, but then closed it again. "Dumbledore. Please. He died when he was one." Sirius begged, desperate to reject this new piece of information. Dumbledore, eyes large and sad, just sighed. "So did I."

Sirius' mind was in turmoil. He remembered with clarity standing in the room with James fingernails digging into his arm. Sirius remembered the waves of anger and hate for that small 13 year old that had somehow managed to collapse his friend.

Sirius remembered himself snarling at the boy, "You evil piece of..." Sirius could hear his voice echoing in the tunnels of his mind.

That was Harry?

Sirius remembered all the pain and anger he had gone through thinking Harry was dead, and he was alive that whole time.

A million times Sirius had pictured Harry's grown up face… And he had seen it only an hour ago, alive and full of life and emotion…

That was Harry?

Sirius whirled around to the bed Tonks had tripped over and pulled the sheet off. He heard gasps, and people rushing forward to stop him, but he ignored them.

There, was Harry, lying dead and pale on the crinkling bed paper. His lips were blue and his hair was as messy as ever. Even his eyes were open, green, vibrant and glassy. Like scratched marbles.

This was Harry, and he was dead.

Sirius turned around to see Remus with his head in his hands and James standing facing the window. As always, Sirius turned to comfort his friend first.

"James?" Sirius croaked, finding himself unable to move.

His friend turned around slowly, facing him, his face emotionless.

"James… It really is him."

Then James' face changed and Sirius knew he realized, Sirius knew he realized that he had just watched his son die, and he had stood by, not even moving to protect him. Sirius knew that in James eyes, he had failed his son again.

Pettigrew apparated to the riddle manor, only to land ungracefully in the broken debris on the hill in the cool night. But he wasn't alone. There was a band of Death Eaters, huddled over there, and Peter sighed in relief.

In his haste to reach them he found himself stumbling, and wiping his brow and panting. He reached them, smug that he had such important news to tell.

"I heard the prophecy! You can't kill the boy! He isn't an orphan! He is Harry Potter!"

After Peter heard the prophecy and he knew he wasn't smart, but he knew that he was wright this time.

It had said, '_The one disguised as White is a Potter.' _

Peter had already known about the little Nick White, so he could only conclude one thing, he also knew that Bellatrix didn't plan on keeping him around, like all her ideas and hobbies, she quickly got sick of them.

Peter, nervously reached the group, who he had captured the attention of, and started stuttering his sentence again.

Then he was cut off.

"That is enough Peter." It was unmistakable, the voice, and Peter was horrified that he hadn't considered that the Dark Lord would be here.

"So, Peter. You broke the prophecy? And you think that the boy Bellatrix took as a slave is a Potter, the Potter I have killed myself?"

Pettigrew panicked. Whenever he talked to the Dark Lord he always stuttered and trembled.

"Yes… I mean… Yes my Lord."

"So where is the boy?"

Peter looked around desperately as though the boy might be in his line of sight. Severus broke into the conversation with his slippery voice.

"I saw the boy being taken back to Dumbledore, dead."

Voldermort immediately laughed. "Yes. That is in no way Harry Potter, I killed Harry Potter while he was a baby. How can you doubt me?"

Peter whimpered, sure that he would be tortured. He tried to apologize, but it was too late, and the night was speared with red. He writhed in pain.

Voldermort thought with satisfaction, that Harry Potter had died tonight, without anyone figuring out that he didn't kill him himself. Voldermort was just satisfied that someone so insignificant hadn't ruined him.

**Sorry again for the tiny post, and the horribly long wait. I will have the next chapter up by next week. AND THAT'S A PROMISE!**

**Please review! I love you!**

**PS- Sneak peak for next week's chapter-**

**It will take place 3 MONTHS LATER and will include flashbacks of a physio James, weeping Sirius and some LILY! (I know I have missed writing her too) so look forward to it! ALSO it will not only have people losing their heads, I am planning a lovely cliffie that will commence the action and drama. (Don't you love angst! Lol) **

**Until next time…**

**Xx**

**miss-Rowena-ravenclaw**


	8. Chapter 8

**My fanfiction account hates me. And so does all my readers. Im sorry. I actually am. BUT ITS NOT MY FAULT! It wouldn't let me update for ages, coming up with an error and everything! So please read and yell at me for the ages I took to post this. It is VERRRRY emotional so I really want to know what you think and if I nailed it, or need to work a little more. **

3 MONTHS LATER

LPOV

It hurts. Every day, every smile is as fake as the last. How much longer can I hold this façade? I got the nursing facility every day, dedicatedly, with my hair tied back and my eyes tired. But inside I am broken, again and again. Why me? I have always asked myself this on the cold winter days that all I could hear was Harry's voice. "Lil… Lil… Lilly!" He would stammer when he cried. She used to sweep him up in his arms, back when he was small.

Every day she was reminded of another part of his life she missed out on. Loosing his first tooth, when he turned 11, when he first walked, the first time he rode a bike. Then she has to remind herself that he probably hasn't even learnt to ride a bike. She tries not to unravel his childhood, because she would be sure it was dark and grey. Living with Death Eaters… The thought was physically disabling, it made her flinch. Lily cries and doesn't even realize it anymore.

Lily remembers when James first told her the news, she has never seen him cry like that besides when Harry first 'died'. He couldn't even talk properly, gasping wet breaths and clutching my arm. I wish it didn't have to happen to him. It was enough to destroy her life, not him to. Why her? Who hated her this much?

THIRD PERSON

When she comes home she doesn't even have the energy to cook dinner, and simply orders takeout. Sometimes, in James arms they are peaceful, reflective, tiny smiles that are better than big fake ones. Sometimes they feed each other thai. Other times Lily is crying until her stomach hurts, and her head is full of tears, clotting like wet cotton. James comforts her, but she is sure he is crying too.

Sirius comes over at dinner sometimes too, he brightens the mood. But there is a contradiction in his eyes, a certain anger, that makes his jokes threats.

Will it always be like this? As soon as Lily started to move on, become happy and independent and unaffected. Was this a way of saying she couldn't forget? She had missed so much in her sons life. How fresh the pain was, sometimes she couldn't do anything but stare, and wish that someone would come and tell her that he was still alive. She probably would accept it. She had thought for so long that he was dead, and then he was found alive.

Late at night Lily wishes she could be there, just for a few seconds, to see him. Other times, she is glad she wasn't. She has seen what James has to deal with, knowing he stood by while he was killed. She wasn't as strong as him. She couldn't live through that. As soon as she found out, she barged into Tonk's apartment in London. Crying hysterically she demanded everything that she heard and saw and knew about him, which was so little it made Lily's heart wrench. Lily had shouted at Tonks at intervals of the night, and hugged her as well. They were never really close at all, but know Lily could call her a friend, they had grown so close and Tonks came over with food and a cheery attempt at optimism. It helped. A lot.

It wasn't as bad as last time. That Lily could be sure of. Either Lily had a larger threshold of pain, or she was simply used to not having Harry with her, she wasn't sure. She just knew that it hurt a damned lot. And she wanted it to stop. She would do anything for it to stop, and she could go back to before, not knowing if he was alive or dead. What difference did it make?

Lily's husband was like a robot. He did every day as though it was a programed routine in his mind. No change. Lily was worried. When would this end. She hated this. All of this.

It was the morning exactly 3 months after that night in riddle manor and James was yawning in his auror cubicle, his head flat against his desk. He had skipped almost every second day of work in the last month. He would tell Lily that he was going to work and he would put on his work uniform, but really, he was at Hogwarts watching over the body of his dead son. Invisible, of course, if Madame Pomfrey knew she would kick him out straight away.

James just couldn't pry himself away.

Some days watching made him happy. He thought of all the extra moments Harry had lived, stolen days or moments. Watching Harry's face, James was glad of how he had turned out, he knew that Harry had rejected the death Eaters until the very end, and grown strong, brave and kind even without his guidance. James was so proud of him

Other days James could hardly handle the sadness that lived inside him as he watched that stone face. Him, with Sirius and Remus, had gone into Tonk's memories of that night, watching Harry talking and moving was so hard to comprehend. Sirius had yelled and threw glass all over the kitchens, and even tried to scacth his face after he watched himself hurt Harry. Remus curled up in a ball. James couldn't speak or breathe, he hated himself so much for letting his son die, leave him again.

No matter how many people told him that it wasn't true, James knew he was a terrible father, a failure to Harry. Harry deserved better.

Despite that sadness, watching Harry was always a million times better than work. The pity glances and the whispers, the white walls of the cubicles pushing in on him on all sides….

James stood up.

He couldn't deal with this anymore. He knew where he had to go.

"James, are you Ok?"

Sirius noticed he had stood up, and his question turned heads towards the two of them. One thing James didn't need was an audience.

James ignored his friend and made for the door. Sirius didn't follow him but called to his retreating back.

"Where are you going?"

To Harry. Always back to Harry, even though his face would surely be branded in his mind forever.

Sirius worried about his friend. James thought he didn't know where he was slipping off to every second day. But Sirius knew. Sirius knew James was going to Harry. Of course, he didn't tell anyone. Not Lily, or Remus. He knew this was something important that James didn't want to tell anyone.

So he didn't talk. When James stood up with a familiar deadened expression, Sirius decided it was tome to follow. He cast a chameleon charm and slipped into the elevator with his friend.

When James was inside the hospital wing again, he slipped into routine. He set up a quiet perch by his son's bed and laid his head against the cool metal bars on the side. He could see half of Harry's pale face. Still perfect as the day he died.

They were probably using preservation spells, but at any case, James was glad, it was easier to watch Harry like this.

He was caught up in memorizing his face, soaking in each feature, but he still heard the loud gasp that punctured the silence. James whipped around. Who was in the room?

Heavy feet came towards him, Sirius materialized into the room, panting. James felt his own invisibility spell rise off hi m a moment after.

James stood up unevenly, angry. "Sirius! Why did you follow me? Why are you here!" James balled his hands up in fists, but Sirius' gaze was a mask of unidentified emotion. Disbelief, perhaps? It was directed to Harry's cot.

James positioned him between them, angry that Sirius was so nosy. Couldn't he see this was important to James? That James needed this time alone?

"Sirius! What are you-"

Sirius cut him off with his hand, and pushed him out of the way of the bed, instantly moving towards Harry's body.

James wanted to scream, but didn't have the energy.

As if he was dreaming, Sirius laid his hands gently on the boy's chest. James was just about to explode, when Sirius took James hands and put them where his own used to be.

It took a while for James to feel it, but when he did, it was steady and sure under his hands.

"He's breathing." Sirius whispered, the sound was so unnaturally quiet to come out of Sirius' mouth, but James heard it as though he was shouting.

In the stark white Hogwarts hospital, with his hands pressed to Harry's chest, James could hear a heartbeat.

Then there was chaos. Madame Pomfrey rushed into the room at the frantic calls of Sirius, and saw for herself the functioning heart of her patient. She threw herself into her work, and Dumbledore joined the fray. All around James there was swirling sound.

"… Call Lily….? It seems like it never stopped…. Positive, all tests… How could this be...? Does this mean...?"

James slumped to the floor, holding his head. Not knowing what to think, and truly trying not to think. Somehow, he couldn't let the fleeting hope dash through his mind, the hope that Harry wasn't leaving him, and somehow he could pay back all the bad things he had done as a father.

They could eat cookies and cream ice cream together and trade chocolate frogs and he could give Harry advice when he liked a girl to never be as pompous as him. He could tell him about the marauders...

How could he even wish this? When it didn't come true, it would break him just that little bit more.

Sirius held his hand, but even with that pressure, James' hands could only remember themselves being pressed to a breathing chest.

And it hurt. And it was the best feeling in the world. How do you cry when you want to laugh? And how do you laugh when you know it will sound fake, and the effort might break you?

Harry was breathing. James was inside the hospital wing, with Sirius pacing.

Lily had been called a few minutes ago and was expected to come barging through the doors at any moment. When would there lives go back to normal? Remus was sitting on the floor, trying to get them to stop pacing. Harry had been moved to a separate room, being operated on and tested. He was breathing.

James had probably told Remus and Sirius over three hundred times. "He's breathing! Harry's breathing Sirius!" but still couldn't grasp the fact. It was like everything he had ever know was suddenly unimportant. Harry was breathing.

Lily pushed through the double doors, shouting her head off. "JAMES!" She flew forward and threw herself onto her unsuspecting husband. "What… Where… I heard that… Is it true… What does this mean… Harry?" She stammered, fresh tears leaking from her eyes. Struck for anything else to say, James just repeated that Harry was breathing. Again.

Lily, with her wild red hair and bloodshot eyes, pulled away, and resembling madness, shrieked again, puncturing the silence, bleeding chaos and terror into the room again. "What do you mean he is breathing?" Remus stood up and steadied her by taking her elbow, she did look like she was going to topple over.

"Harry's alive?" It was barely a whisper now, a hope that could be blown away in the wind.

"He's not alive." This was Sirius, and everyone in the room turned to look at him, because his tone of voice was so hard, so cold, and unforgiving. He looked angry, and a million years old. "He's only breathing. He isn't alive. Just like a coma patient."

Sirius dealt with grief through his anger, and he was now quivering with it, anger, filled with anger hotter and deeper than anything he had felt before. He could barely contain the screams that kept pounding in his head.

Lily had to look at the coma patients every day. She always thought it would be the saddest thing, to have a family member just out of reach in that way… She made a choking sound in the back of her throat. She was right in the middle of the catastrophe now.

James whipped around his eyes dangerous. "You don't know that. He could wake up any moment. He's breathing. Harry's breathing."

Sirius wanted to slap his friend.

"Dumbledore suspected that some sort of ancient magic occurred when he died, that caused the flames and Harry to be breathing now, that somehow the spell rebounded on to the caster. He had only seen a couple of cases before…"

No one really cared how it happened, even Sirius who was recounting the story trailed off.

"He's still breathing." James mumbled, slumping to the floor ad covering his hands over his face. "He's breathing…" James own breathing was hitched and fractured while his sons continued unearthly smooth and shallow.

**I'm going to explain to you why Harry lived and is breathing. Because, I am expecting that you, unlike James, Lily, Sirius and Remus, actually care how it happened, well… **

**Marley sacrificed her life for Harry. Remember how she jumped in front of the spell.**

**However…Marley's intentions for saving Harry weren't pure love. She hated her life with the Death Eaters and probably didn't know the spell would kill her anyway. Her decision was on a whim, and it might not be repeated in a different circumstance. So, Harry didn't stay alive the whole time and instead there was 3 months struggle. Between Bellatrix and the power of Marley's sacrifice. **

**That is what happened, tell me if you don't get it! **

**Also- Harry WILL come out of his coma patient situation, so don't worry. **

**Review? Even if I don't deserve it?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello All! **

**I think I should be commended on updating in a respectable time period! If you want this to continue, you know what to do…. REVIEW!**

**WARNING!**

**MODERNATE COARSE LANGUAGE IN THIS CHAPPIE, don't worry kiddies, it won't be that scary, I just thought I'd let y'all KNOW so you don't complain later**

**Oh oops I haven't been disclaiming in a while… I don't own Sirius, James, Remus or any other character you have recognized. I love them too much to let them die. (Obviously miss. Rowling didn't….) **

So the day wore on, into night. No one left the hospital wing almost through unspoken agreement. Everyone was too afraid to go looking for the news that might break them. But they stood together, banded together, and somehow it made the pain a little better. James and Lily, Sirius and Remus. Other people visited during the course of the hours, Tonks, moody, Frank and Alice, and other order members, but the four of them stayed together. They talked, but skirted around the subject that was always on each other's minds. What they were talking about didn't matter, it felt like the words and subjects were mush and their mouths were lead, but the fact that they were talking, together, made the difference. They were there for each other. That's what counts.

Then, Dumbledore, in his magnificent midnight robes, swept into the room.

Lily and James, who had melted to the floor, in each other's arms, stood up, hearts racing.

Remus and Sirius stood up too.

Everyone knew this was the moment. This was the news that would change everything.

Was Harry's heart still beating? Had it stopped, was he dead? Was Harry alive? Would he wake up? Would he stay in this horrible coma forever?

James swallowed and stepped forward, towards Dumbledore. _Would he make it? _

Lilly swayed again, unsteady on her feet. _Would he make it?_

Sirius dared to hope, a small boat in this sea of anger he had constructed for himself. _Would he make it?_

Remus was a werewolf; he had loved Harry from the beginning. He could picture his small hands and innocent green eyes, and a small ribbon of drool hanging from his lips. Remus wanted to smile and cry. _Would he make it?_

Dumbledore looked back at the four faces. Devastation, fear, anger and sadness. Blended in the form of four friends, friends for life.

Dumbledore allowed himself a small smile, a sign of life, of love. "He's going to wake up. Harry's going to live."

His words were sprinkled over everyone, like softly falling snow, transforming the world to beautiful crystalized white. Slowly making everything sunny and beautiful and bright. Like Christmas. There was laughter, shaky but loud. James cried, out of everything he could feel, he couldn't feel anymore, he had reached maximum capacity. He had no more room. This is what love has done to him. No, this is what Harry had done to him.

He turned around to Sirius, teary eyed. His best friend's face was transforming, they locked eyes and James couldn't help but laugh through tears. "Harry **is **alive." Every opportunity James took, to prove his friend wrong.

It turned out that not one out of the four of them could bear to go home, or even leave the castle, so the house elves brought food up to them. They had relocated to a cozy red and gold room in which Harry lay on a bed of cushions, ("Harry's breathing, Sirius! He's breathing!" "SHUT UP!") And all of them circled around him. It felt like they were the only people in the world.

It was the middle of the night, but none of them could even think about sleep, they were all drunk on the idea that Harry would be able to speak, live, breathe again.

Lily stroked his hair. "He looks so much like you, James." This was another largely repeated phrase, but Lily couldn't help but say it, it seemed to just spill out. Sirius, who was spread out lazily on the floor, barked out his trademark laugh.

"I think he looks a little like me, actually." Sirius announced happily.

James, who was on the other side of Harry, whipped his head around to face his best friend.

"Bad move Padfoot." Remus chuckled, still nursing his tea.

"What do you mean? How does he look like you?" James said.

"You know…." Sirius shifted to a sitting position. "His face, it's shaped like mine… His nose is like mine, all pointy and his chin is flat like mine. Even his hair is long and black, just like mine."

"No way! He looks like me. I'm his father!

"About that… Lily did you want to give James the real truth about Harry's father?" Sirius grinned. Lily gave him a dirty look, and threw a pillow, over Harry, to his head. "You are such an idiot, Sirius." She announced, but still couldn't keep a smile from her face. Sirius laughed, but then stopped abruptly when Remus started talking, worriedly.

"Whoa, James! Are you alright?" Remus even put his tea down, and shuffled closer, to put a hand on his friends shoulder.

James was crouched over, shaking, his head down and knees drawn up to his chest. "James! I was joking around! Lily didn't cheat on you!" Sirius was confused as to why James didn't see the joke.

"Of course Harry looks exactly like you! Splitting image, I was just joking… I'm sorry." Sirius squirmed uncomfortably.

"It's not that, Sirius. It's just, I'm his father. His dad… I don't know how to take care of a 13 year old boy!" Sirius could see that James was really starting to freak out. It must be a scary prospect, having a son only one year old, and then suddenly 13 years old. Sirius stared at Harry in the room. His thick hair and peaceful expression. His long lanky frame. "I don't know anything about him, his past, what he has been though. He has lived with Death Eaters… Do you know how much that would have changed him? Almost since birth being molded to be someone evil. I don't know him at all…"

Lily intervened, no one else having anything to say. "Do you love him James? I watched Tonk's memories, and I couldn't stop crying, because he is just like you, inside and out, he's strong and brave and he is not evil. How could you think that of Harry? We are going to learn about him, get to know him, but I know that I already, love him, I always have. I'm not giving him up James. He's my son and He's perfect. I won't go back to what it was like without him now that he's here." Lily finished her little speech with teary eyes, and James quickly, reached over their thirteen year old son to grab her hand.

"I am not saying we should give him up! Never. I would never give him up. I… I love him too. I'm just scared of how things will change; I'm scared of being a failure, messing everything up. I'm scared he won't like me. But I am excited too. I am so excited." And James laughed, thinking of all the years ahead of them, a family.

"I love my son too." Sirius said, breaking into the emotional fuel of the room. James grabbed one of the cushions and whacked him over the head with it, shouting out that he was a mangy mutt, and chasing him around the room, still he couldn't keep from collapsing form laughter.

It would be dawn in a couple of hours, and Lily didn't want the night to end. The laughter, the tears had all been surreal, as though they had been transported to a different world in one night. It was like a sleepover, the very best kind. However, they did get kind of delirious form sleep deprivation near the end.

Remus had gotten a house elf to bring him tea every half an hour, and had a stack of mugs around him. The last one taken to him, Sirius had jinxed to make his hair turn different colours and added sneezing powder as well. Remus was furious, trying to berate them, and shaking his fist, while being racked by sneezing fits so extreme he kept falling straight on his face, toppling over like a domino. Sirius and James and even lily were rolling around on the floor in laughter. Soon he spell started to wear off and his hair only blinked from purple to red lazily and he sneezed quietly every once in a while.

Each sneeze always enticed more laughter though.

Lily started stroking Harry's hair again, wishing him to wake up. Sirius lay down on the thick carpet staring glassy eyed at the ceiling and Remus and James played muggle card games Lily had taught them.

It was peaceful. "GO FISH!" James shouted, making Sirius jump. Well, as peaceful as it was going to get.

James kept glancing over at his sleeping son, each time his heart filling with anticipation and love.

It was probably about 5:30 when Lily and Sirius joined into their card game, and things started getting heated.

"Your cheating, James!"

"Sirius is too!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"I win, ok!"

"NO YOU DON'T!"

Then there was a faint murmur, everyone in the room whipped their heads around to Harry. Harry flung his arm across his body, and his breathing accelerated. Harry made a choking sound in the back of his throat, loud and hacking, and then his breathing stopped all together.

"SHIT!" 

Lily, flung herself over to Harry, her hands fluttered hopelessly around his body, and even with all her training she couldn't think what to do. Sirius, James and Remus we beside Harry in an instant.

James body was going cold. Here was the moment he was waiting for. Everything seemed too good to be true, Harry breathing, Harry being alive, everything being OK. James, subconsciously, was waiting for the moment where everything comes crashing down. Even though he was expecting it, it still tears him apart.

"Harry. No please, not Harry again." He pleaded. Sirius started shouting things loudly that didn't make sense, and Remus tried to calm everybody, but just added noise to the chaos. James had already started imagining life with Harry. They would practice quiddich and pull pranks, He would go to Hogwarts. Harry would study for exams and ask James for help, and get so sleepy that he would fall asleep on the couch. He would come home for Christmas talking about an amazing girl he had met, and James would teach him how to ask her out without her hexing him. He, with Sirius and Remus, would tell Harry about the marauders and all the secret passageways. Then Harry would have his own children, and James would be a grandpa and Harry would tease him about how old he was getting…

James could feel that all being tugged away.

Harry's face was turning blue.

"HE CAN'T BREATHE!"

James got a quick flashback of himself pacing and jumping around.

"He's breathing, Sirius! Harry's breathing."

"He can't breathe."

Both of the sentences bled together, and all James could think was that they were back to square one, Will he make it? Will he make it? At the moment, James would do anything for Harry to make it, and live, forever.

Lily must have snapped out of her brain freeze, she started CPR, and she did the movements mechanically, her arms numb, tears falling from her eyes.

Harry's breath came back with a gasp, and James stumbled in relief.

Then, Harry's eyes popped open, green, bright and beautiful, Lily's green.

Everyone gasped. "Harry…?" Lily whispered, tears in her voice.

Harry started screaming and shuffled back as far as possible, so he was basically sitting on the window sill.

Everybody started screaming and laughing in pure ecstasy, crying loudly, or just shouting because they wouldn't hold any more emotion. James was overcome with pride. His son was so grown up, so… alive.

Harry was terrified. He had just woken up and saw a crowd of people in the room, many scruffy and haggard looking as if they had stayed up anxiously all night.

Death Eaters. Harry instantly knew they couldn't be anyone else, and he knew he needed to escape. To find his father, find a home or just a place to stay. He wished he had Nick right now.

All the people, with tear stained cheeks were reaching out for him and Harry was so scared, he instinctively unlocked the window behind him. He ripped out his wand from the secret lining in his sleeve. He was about to jump out, the height was large and wobbled beneath him, but he knew his cushioning charm quite well. When one of the men yelled an anguished cry and silences the rest of the room.

"Harry! STOP please! Step away from the edge!" The man looked just like him, except his eyes were hazel. The man's whole frame and voice trembled.

James had never felt like this before. Everyone had left their wands on the other side of the room on the couch, and Harry probably didn't even know what magic was, rather than any spells! He was brought up with Death Eaters. If he fell now no one could save him… James swallowed and repeated himself to the boy.

"Harry, I know you are scared, just please close the window, we can explain everything! My god… Harry, please."

"Give me one good reason why I should listen to Death Eaters like you?" Harry asked sharply, ready to jump.

"Because he is your father!" Sirius yelled, and his voice silenced the room and Harry just stared, his mind hurrying to process what was said.

My father? My…. Father? Harry's legs crumpled and he was sure he had blacked out, but only for a second or two, because when he opened his eyes, the man who was his father, was kneeling down beside him.

**It's a shorty but a goodie… right? You guys are going to KILL ME for this cliffy**

**IMPORTANT NOTE…**

**(Ok so it's not that important)**

**I just thought about how many people have added this story to their story alert compared to how many people review. I am hoping for at least 10 reviews a chapter. Is that too much to ask? Because lately I would be lucky to get that. So please don't leave the reviewing up to someone else. SHOW that you are reading, because all your reviews actually mean EVERYTHING to me. I MEAN IT! Please, pretty please, show you care and review. I will love you for it. ALSO, I am thinking of writing all the names of the reviewers up in the next chappie. Love you all… (Maybe not some of you nasty non-reviewers… just kidding, I have a tiny space in my heart for you too) sorry for nagging… **

**xxx**

**ill update soon, I am struggling with this next chapter I am in the middle of writing, I have written it like five times and am very perfectly happy, I want it to be perfection for you! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey all! I'm back after a long hibernation period! I just want to say that i am thinking of ending this fic in a few more chapters. I had planned another BIG complication but i am thinking of just putting it in a seperate fic. what do you think? I am not too happy with this, but i have been playing around with it for too long, i just had to publish it!.**

**if you have any fics about james being alive then please tell me in a review. I want to read some more!**

**thanks again!**

**xx**

Harry James Potter had a very skewed perception of a father figure. He didn't have a lot of sources to draw from. Harry believed a father to be someone he could belong to, someone he could finally call his own.

At best, his father might visit a couple times a year, or send him the odd Christmas card in December.

Harry didn't know what having a father truly meant.

James, almost hyperventilating, didn't know what to do, his fingers just reached out and brushed Harry's shoulder, real and warm. Harry didn't seem to feel it.

Then, just as the silence was about to suffocate everyone, Harry lifted his head, showing two bright emerald eyes. They darted around the group, clicking with everyone like puzzle pieces snapping together.

Harry, from his dazed sitting position on the floor, surveyed everybody's emotions. He was feeling irrationally scared and his head spun.

"Harry… I'm your father. I'm James…" James' voice faltered and Harry stared at the man who looked just like him.

James' mouth went dry and he couldn't speak anymore. He was sure that if he did he would stuff everything up and his own son wouldn't think of him as a good father.

Harry looked at James, seeing clearly how similar they looked. Harry, his brain always wired to say 'The wrong thing at the wrong time' (according to Emilia Wealthlock) or 'A smart-arse, rude response' (according to Mr Wealthlock) immediately blurted out, "You look just like me."

Harry immediately regretted saying it. Why had he?

The words had just flown straight of his tongue, so fast he couldn't put a handle on it. They were true though, and Harry was just impressed he could speak coherent sentences while his head was throbbing.

Oh my god! Harry! Do you know how long you made me wait to do this?"

At first Harry thought he was being attacked, and then he realized that he was being enclosed in a suffocatingly tight hug.

Harry felt James arms winding around him and his laughing voice near his ear. Everything was so amplified and new and beautiful. James arms where so tight that it was almost suffocating, but it felt good, like Harry was getting every bad memory squeezed out of him.

Harry was being hugged by his father.

Then someone pulled his dad's arms off him, and Harry felt another pair of, gentler but still tight, arms wind around him to replace them.

Harry's cheek was being tickled by a mane of red hair, and a pointy chin dug into his shoulder. The lady held him at arms distance, drinking in his face with dripping eyes. Eyes that were exactly the same shade as his.

"Are you my…?"The lady swung her arms around Harry again, crying jaggedly through her words. "I'm your mum! Harry! I'm your mum!" James then wrapped his arms around mother and son, creating an overlapping hug, that kept everyone together and united.

Harry on instinct pushed them away, he felt too many emotions bubbling up inside of him. He was always taught to internalize his feelings, he wasn't used to the feeling of them, slowly making him loose control.

He was always taught to push people away, to trust no one, his instincts kicked in.

Harry looked at his parents. He tried to process everything. "You both are my parents?" He asked again, in a shaky voice.

He didn't really need an answer. Both of them looked so much like him. He knew they were.

They nodded at his question.

But the next question was what Harry really wanted to know. What does that mean?

Harry knew he would probably move into another foster house.

Harry knew he couldn't expect anything from these people.

They didn't know him, they didn't want him. He had probably fallen out of the sky onto their laps, and as far as their patience might stretch, they probably didn't have enough time in their busy lives to spare him a thought.

He had been told all his life that he was too much work. He was a nuisance. He was trouble. Why would these people, his parents, want anything to do with him?

Then Harry realized something that made him really sad and angry. His parents obviously didn't want him, because they had given him away. They had given him another last name and carted him off to a different family.

They had left him there all his life at the Wealthlocks, outcast and miserable. They wouldn't do that if they wanted him.

His father's voice was hoarse as he spoke to him. "Harry, please, tell us what is wrong. We can help you. We are your parents…"

Harry was suddenly angry. It felt like meeting these people was a waste of time. What could they do for him? Except show him everything he wanted, and then snatch it away. Harry knew he was being unrealistically angry, but he didn't know what else to feel.

"I know! But it means nothing! Nothing changes! It doesn't change anything." Harry interrupted his father.

After he had yelled this, he brought his hand to his head. He still felt tired and sickly, he wobbled slightly feeling as though he was going to topple over.

He was hungry, thirsty, tired and very weak. He wanted to curl up on the floor and fall asleep.

Harry backed up against the gold and red wall, wanting to slump down, but he knew It was important to stay looking strong.

Harry knew what would happen. He would spend a night or two in this beautiful red and gold room and then he would leave, with another family and start from square one.

His parents will probably never visit, or even remember him after a few days.

"What do you mean, 'it doesn't change anything.' His mother's voice was hurt, and Harry looked at her to find her green eyes impossibly sad.

Harry felt guilty for his previous outburst. His parents really hadn't done anything wrong, he shouldn't blame them if they didn't want him.

"I mean… It doesn't really." Harry tried to explain, much more calmly. "Just because I now know you're my parents, doesn't mean I am going to live any differently. I will still be in another family like the Wealthlocks and I'll still stay home all day doing chores and stay up all night trying to escape. I'm glad I met you, but it really doesn't change anything."

He didn't know what reaction to excpect, but it wasn't for his mother to start laughing. She strided towards him. "No! We found you! And that changed everything. We love you Harry."

Harry didn't believe her.

"Then why did you send me away to the Wealthlocks? Why didn't you raise me yourself? How can you love me if you did that?"

James, listening to his son's words, suddenly felt a crushing weight on his chest. One of the main emotions James felt, and still feels, is guilt, when thinking of Harry's death. James' worst nightmare was that Harry would hate him because he didn't protect him.

James used to have nightmares of Harry, blaming him for his death. And when James woke up, it seemed like the dream didn't truly disappear.

If he tried a little harder, or if he had spent more time on the wards, if he had stayed to guard his son from harm, he wouldn't be dead.

James should have known after the prophecy was announced.

James blamed himself.

Now, James felt like Harry was blaming him too, just like his nightmares. When he said, 'How can you love me if you did that?' James was sure that he was having a nightmare. That was exactly what Harry would say in his nightmares.

"You can't love me if you can't protect me! I relied on you, and you let me down! What kind of father are you? You killed me! You took away my life! How can you love me if you did that? You killed me…"

James would desperately plead to Harry that he loved him, and tell him how sorry he was, he would try and reach out to touch him, but his fingers would brush air, and harry would disappear. James would wake up with nothing but tears on his cheeks.

James had to let Harry know that he was sorry.

"Harry, please. I have been blaming myself for not protecting you for years. I should never have let them kidnap you! I will do anything for you to believe me. I will take care of you and never let anyone hurt you again."

Harry looked at his father, his wide earnest eyes behind his glasses, and his ruffled black hair. His mother stood beside him with her skin blotchy and red as her hair.

What was he doing? Harry was standing here with every emotion he had ever felt coursing through him, pushing them away, his parents.

"Kidnap?" His voice trembled and broke. His mind was humming so loud it was hard to understand what they were saying.

Someone kidnapped him? Harry always believed that his parents abandoned him and left him. He never once thought that he was taken from them. He realized now how favourable that option was. That meant that his parents did want him, and that they would look after him.

"We would never ever leave you, Harry. Someone took you from us." They were crying as they spoke.

Harry looked at his parents, and finally let himself believe it. He had parents that loved him and would take care of him. He had parents that were good, kind people that would never leave him.

James watched Harry's face with nervousness in the pit of his stomach. Harry didn't show his emotion on his face, but James could see that he was thinking hard.

Finally, Harry's face cleaned completely, wiped away all the hard lines and opened up. James saw a cheeky glint in his eye.

"So… does that mean I can call you 'dad'?"

James blinked a few times, in shock. Hearing Harry say 'dad' sent shivers down his spine. It meant he forgave him. James felt every bit of regret, anger and grief ease away, he leapt forward and wrapped his arms tight around his son, what he had wanted to do for years, and vowed to never let him go.

"I'm going to take that as a 'yes'" Harry said.

Lily watched on, overcome with tears so violent she could hardly speak over them. Once James moved away, Harry walked up to Lily.

Harry was still a little apprehensive, he had never had a mother before, but it felt right when he gently hugged his crying mother. She flung her arms around him, blubbering.

"I'm just so happy!"

Harry heard his dad cracking up along side two other men.

Harry couldn't stop smiling as he turned to face his father again, he was going to ask him a question, when the words died on his lips, and his smile slipped off his face. He felt himself going very white. He was staring at Sirius, who caught his gaze.

Harry immediately recognized the man who had cut his cheek that time in Riddle Manor. He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling a slightly raised line there from the cut.

Sirius recognized the action, but Harry missed the way Sirius' eyes flashed in pain.

"Harry, I…"

Harry jumped over the couch behind him, backing away to the wall. He pulled his wand from his sleeve. James tried to grab him, but Harry dodged out of the way.

Sirius stumbled towards Harry, hand outstretched, trying to console him, but Harry kept moving backwards, until he could feel the cold wallpaper behind his shoulder blades.

Harry raised his wand towards the man. "Don't come any closer. Don't touch me."

James slowly walked towards Harry, forcing him to look at him instead of Sirius.

"Harry, it was not his fault, he thought you were a Death Eater. We are aurors. We are trained to catch Death Eaters. He didn't know who you were."

Harry instantly believed the words of his father, already, he trusted him. He lowered his wand and pulled himself away from the wall. He felt slightly embarrassed for overreacting, and sent an apologetic glance to the man.

At the look, Sirius stumbled ungracefully over to Harry, touching his shoulder and making wild gestures. Harry, not used to people touching him, seemed a bit shocked.

"Harry! I'm really sorry! I feel so bad about it! I didn't meant to, I'll never hurt you, I promise!"

Harry, having already believed that this man wouldn't hurt him by the words of his father was completely convinced by the earnest look in his eye.

Harry laughed and said, "It's fine. You really need to relax." Harry was used to the reception of such a comment being a scathing look or badly aimed slap. But the man just blinked and laughed, a barking laugh that made him sound like a dog.

"Harry this is Sirius, He is your Godfather." James introduced.

Sirius beamed at him, his smile looked like it was about to split his face in two.

Harry smiled back in greeting, but wobbled slightly. The pain in his head was making the room shake. Harry's throat was parched and his stomach begged for food, to top it off, his head was throbbing with a desperate need for sleep.

Through all their excitement, his family didn't seem to notice.

"And this…" Sirius exclaimed, dragging him to the other sandy haired man, "Is Moony, or you can call him Remus."

Harry nodded. "Hello…" His head was throbbing so much he had already forgotten the name of the person in front of him.

He couldn't hardly see anything, his vision was become increasingly blurry, as though he was looking through a tunnel of water.

Everybody started talking at the same time.

Lily was crying softly in joy, His father and Godfather were laughing and asing him questions. All the voices overlapped and fused together. Harry tried to blink to clear his vision, but it made his head throb even more.

They still didn't realize that he was struggling to stay upright.

The noises got louder and more painful to discern, finally blackness spread like a blanket over his greying vision. Everything painful snapped shut with a firm bang. Harry felt the collision of his body on the floorboards and the 'thunk' of his head hitting the floor.

TWO DAYS LATER

Harry woke up in a bed and instantly knew he was back at the Wealthlocks. He scrunched his eyes up, trying desperately to go back to sleep. He was having such a good dream… Voices echoed around him. Some were probably downstairs, the walls were paper thin in this house. He tried to block them out, but he could repeatedly hear the words "Harry." And laughter.

Laughter. That didn't seem right. There was only laughter combined with his name when Rowena was playing a particularly nasty prank on him. Someone drew back curtains , red tinged his eyelids and he rolled over, smacking his head into his pillow.

It felt softer than usual but he cast that idea away. He groaned, mentally pleading for five more minutes sleep. It wasn't that he was tired, it just that his bed was surprisingly comfortable and soft, and he knew that once he left it, he had to face a long day of boredom. Someone touched his hair, and said his name. It was a woman's voice, it must be Rowena.

Usually he was pretty well prepared for Rowena's pranks, he was surprised she even got into his room. He set booby traps by the doorway most of the time. He knew she was waiting for just the right moment to pounce her latest humiliating tricks on him. Maybe she had already cast a spell while he was asleep. The last one was having everything he ate taste like dirt for a day. No matter what he did, he couldn't reverse the spell.

"Rowena!" He groaned.

Thankfully, everything fell silent for a second.

"Go away, give me five more minutes." After he spoke he was granted a few beats of silence before there was laughing around his bed. Harry buried his head deeper into his pillow, trying to hold onto the deep sleep he was in. "Rowena… piss off…" Still riddled with sleep he rolled over and tugged the blanket over his head.

If anything, the voices were getting louder and clearer, instead of going away. It sounded like a whole crowd of people were standing around him.

"Seriously, Rowena, It's not that I don't love you, but you are really, really annoying."

Of course he was being sarcastic. There wasn't a person in the world he could love less than Rowena. She got especially angry when he called her 'sis' after she puts on an act of being so intimidating and tough.

Finally he gave up, he threw back his covers and wrenched his eyes open.

His stomach dropped.

He wasn't in the Wealthlocks family home and Rowena wasn't by his bed annoying him.

Instead there were four people around his bed.

Seeing them, a long rush of memories can back to him. He grasped the past that he had believed to be a dream. His dad, his mum, his godfather and the other man he had been introduced to before he blacked out.

He was in a spacious room, in a huge, comfy bed with thick red blankets.

He instantly locked eyes with Sirius, who was closest to his bed. Sirius had a huge grin on his face.

Harry felt a rush go to his head. This perfect dream was actually real. He didn't know what to say, but unfortunately, Sirius did.

"Have you got a girlfriend Harry? Rowena?" Sirius said, crawling onto the foot of his bed.

"Rowena…. She sounds smart." Lily added. Harry whipped his head to see her, and was shocked again by how lovely she was. This was real. He absorbed it with a grin growing across his face. Harry never smiled much, but now he couldn't stop.

"Is she hot?" Sirius added.

James who hadn't said anything, snorted.

Harry looked aghast about the people around him. He was still in awe at his luck. He was so lucky.

He finally started to absorb what they were saying. Something about Rowena? Harry shook his head to clear it of sleep and confusion.

He forced himself to focus.

When he did he saw everyone's face sharing a knowing glance and Sirius scooting closer to him on the bed, sitting, legs crossed like a school kid.

James looked at Harry shocked. "This Rowena girl _is_ your girlfriend? You are only 13?" He ruffled his hand through his hair, laughing. "It seemed like yesterday you were a baby…"

Harry ignored the baby comment and latched on to the conversation. Rowena? _Girlfriend?_

"Is the hot!" Sirius persisted repeating his question. Lily shot him an exasperated look, that didn't quite hold because she was too overjoyed that her son was back.

Harry spluttered. "NO! She is NOT my girlfriend… and what do you mean 'hot'? She has always been normal temperature..."

Everyone chortled, Sirius the loudest, saying how much they had to teach Harry.

"Sirius meant to ask if she was pretty." Remus explained, clearing the look of confusion on Harry's face to one of horror.

"Rowena! Hell no! She is an ugly toad!"

Sirius laughed even harder.

"Don't be mean to your girlfriend Harry!"

Harry was embarrassed and started spluttering that she wasn't his girlfriend at all.

Lily joined the group with a sly grin. "You were talking about her in your sleep, Harry…"

Harry shook his head and covered his flushing face with his hands, groaning. "No! No! you are giving me horrible mental pictures!"

Lily laughed, but stopped teasing, throwing back the bed spread and walking to the other side of the room to open the curtains. Light steamed in, and hit the crisp white sheets. Harry yawned. Sirius was still laughing, but stood up too.

"Come down stairs when you are ready, Remus has made pancakes." Remus, James and Sirius left the bedroom, and Harry could hear them pounding down the stairs below.

Lily came towards him with a lovely smile on her face. She pushed his head from his forehead and kissed his head. "Your home now Harry. Everything is OK now."

Harry smiled, feeling so comfortable and safe. "Thank you." It was all he could say, it felt like there was a golf ball stuck in his throat. He had never felt so happy before.

Lily tutted about how old and dirty his clothes were and how she would get him new ones straight away, before leaving the room to, with a fond smile.

Harry sat up in his bed. The huge red and gold bed that was clean and dry. He looked at his huge new room, a beautiful feeling swelling in his chest. He felt invincible.

He was home and he was safe. That was all that counted.

**Awww... :) sweet yeah? I want to apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes too. it really isn't my forte. :) :) **

**so what did you think? please review. it encourages me!**

**thanks again everyone! :) :) :)**

**PS- how rad was DH part 2? loooooooveeed it! and SIRIUS my favourite character even had an itty bitty line. :) yayay**

**BTW I DISCLAIM EVERYTHING, IF I OWNED ANYTHING I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT JAMES POTTER BACK TO LIFE**


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